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FAMILY 
GOVERNMENT. 


Povo L856. ON 


CONJUGAL, PARENTAL, AND FILIAL DUTIES. 


BY 


JAMES 0. ANDREW, D.D. 


ONE OF THE BISHOPS OF THE METHODIST EPISCOPAL 
CHUROH, SOUTH. 


CHARLESTON: 
PUBLISHED.BY B.A JENKINS. 
SORIN & BALL, PHILADELPHIA. 


1847. 





Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1846, by JamEs 
O, ANDREW, in the Glerk’s Office of the District Court of the Eastern 


District of Pennsylvania. 








STEREOTYPED BY L. JOHNSON & CO. 
PHILADELPHIA. 
i PRINTED BY T. K. & P. G. COLLINS. 


ADVERTISEMENT. 


Tue following essays were written at brief 
intervals of leisure, and published in the 
Southern Christian Advocate. At the earnest 
and repeated solicitations of the friends of the 
author, they are now transferred to these 
pages, and without alteration ; since his offi- 
cial engagements have precluded the possi- 
bility of revision. He is gratified to know 
that they have met with public favour; and 
his prayer is, that they may, in the present 


form, be extensively useful. 





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FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


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ee CHAPTER I. 
INTRODUCTION.—IMPORTANCE OF THE 
SUBJECT. 


Our subject is family government, or fa- 
mily religion,—a subject of confessedly great 
importance ; and yet it is probable that the 
extent of that importance is, to this day, 
very imperfectly understood, or very inade- 
quately appreciated. We hear it is import- 
ant, and to save the pains of examining 
fully into the matter, we allow it, and go on 
our ways, never stopping to inquire seriously 
and prayerfully, how many weighty and 
eternal interests stand inseparably connected 
with it. There are also many among us, 
who, on hearing the announcement of the 
subject, accord to it all the importance 
which it claims, but then it is to be regarded 
as a general matter, and may not be pressed 

1* 


6 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


into an application to particulars; in short, 
any thing will be admitted on the proviso 
that the application is not to be directly 
home. Now it is our most sober conviction, 
that this subject deserves a thorough exami- 
nation, and that it involves more sacred and 
weighty interests than any other which can 
engage our thoughts. Upon a proper family 
government depends the weal or wo ‘of the 
church and the country. We believe that 
much of the evil and wide-wasting crime 
_with which the world is cursed may be 
traced to the wretched system of govern- 
ment which obtains in so large a portion of 
the families of the country; and it is our 
conviction that a reform, to be efficient and 
extensive, must begin here. All schemes 
for improvement and reformation, which do 
not commence here, must succeed very par- 
tially, because they have neglected the foun- 
dation. ‘There may be improved systems of 
school education, and improved text-books, 
and learning may be attempted to be made 
easy in a thousand ways, and there may 
be improved discipline, and extra-qualified 
teachers, and plans for the precocious deve- 
lopment of juvenile intellect, and ways, plans, 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 7 


and schemes, many, for rapid education. 
The most of them do harm, by inducing su- 
perficiality in students, still more by begetting 
habits of idleness, because they understand, 
that «learning is made easy,” and therefore 
toil and laborious drudgery are to be repu- 
diated by the youth of genius. But perhaps 
they indirectly lead to a still more serious 
injury, by inducing the parent to transfer the 
whole work of education from the paternal 
roof to the school-house. The child grows 
up untutored as the wild ass’s colt, till of age 
to go to school, then the work of education 
is to begin, and the untamed and high-mettled 
lad, who has never known curb or rod, is to 
be suddenly transformed into all that is clever, 
by the wonder-working influence of the school- 
master. Now this whole process is wrong in 
its beginning, progress, and ending. Home 
must be the place of commencing this great 
work, and the father and mother must be the 
first educators, or the training will always be 
defective. It is in the domestic circle, 
around the home-fireside, that those influences 
are to be exerted, and those instrumentalities 
put into operation, which are to act with un- 
dying vigor in all after-life. This is the foun- 


8 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


tain which must be sweetened, that the streams 
may be pure. Entertaining such convictions, 
we have felt it our duty to cast in our mite 
towards arousing public attention to this 
deeply interesting subject ; and if in the re- 
marks which follow we may be instrumental 
in awakening any heads of families to proper 
reflection and action, we shall have attained 
our object. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 9 


CHAPTER II. 


THE MATRIMONIAL UNION—CHOICE OF A WIFE 
OR HUSBAND. 


__ In order to do justice to this subject, it 
will be proper to go back to the beginning. 
We lay it down as an undoubted truth, that 
it is of the first importance, that husbands and 
wives understand well the peculiar obliga- 
tions arising out of the relation they sustain 
_to each other, and that they carefully, dili- 
gently, and constantly apply themselves to the 
discharge of these duties, so that they find 
happiness mutually in each other’s society. 

For if it be otherwise, if there be heart- 
burnings, contentions, and bitterness here, if 
this golden chain becomes an iron cable, 
there will be no good government in the 
house. The contentions of the parents will 
produce in the minds of the children disgust 
or contempt, for one or both the parents, and 
the house will be a scene of discord and con- 
fusion. -If these views be correct, it is surely 


10 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


of great consequence that the character, obli- 
gations and duties of this interesting relation, 
be maturely weighed, and that all due cau- 
tion be observed by individuals who are 
about forming this hallowed connection. I 
regard marriage as an institution of peculiar 
sanctity and importance to society. It did 
not, as some other institutions, grow up in 
society to remedy the evils consequent upon 
man’s apostasy. No; God himself united 
the first pair, and the first wedding was cele- 
brated in Eden, while yet every flower bloom- 
ed in its pristine loveliness, and sin had sent 
out no blighting influence on the fair face of 
God’s creation; then, when all was purity and 
peace around, did God establish this hallowed 
and blessed union of man and woman. And 
if Jehovah did especially denote its import- 
ance in sinless Eden ; the spirit of inspiration 
hath not less distinctly consecrated it for 
good to us, in our fallen, ruined estate. It is 
indeed the source of the most exalted, gene- 
rous and pure affections of human nature ; 
and throws its radiant, cheering light over 
many a pathway, where all would otherwise 
be dark and chill and cheerless. It is the 
spring of incalculable good, or irreparable 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 11 


mischief, according as the relation is entered 
‘into discreetly or otherwise. It is hardly ne- 
cessary for me to say now, that I am a warm 
and decided advocate for marriage. We have 
known many who entertain unworthy views 
of this important institution; men who af- 
fected to regard it as a state of bondage, and 
who spoke of the glorious liberty of a state 
of single blessedness. But we have watched 
these men for many years, and we have seen 
an end of all their perfection; they have ge- 
nerally been of no use to the world ; and the 
licentiousness of some of them, and the indo- 
lence and avarice of others have furnished a 
sufficient clew to the motives of their con- 
duct. If our views be correct, if interests so 
numerous and weighty are involved in this 
hallowed union, it is important that due and 
proper caution be used in selecting the man 
or woman with whom we are to be so inti- 
mately associated through all life’s scenes of 
joy or sorrow. Here it seems to us is the 
proper starting-point, and in this important 
connection almost every thing depends on 
starting properly. Many families are perma- 
nently unhappy, because the husband and 
wife enter into holy wedlock under the in- 


P12 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


fluence of wrong principles and feelings on 
this subject. 

There are two or three grievous errors, 
which deserve a brief consideration. In 
some instances, marriage is regarded simply 
as a convenient method of acquiring proper- 
ty. A young man is about to seek one, who 
shall not only be mistress of his board, but 
who must be the partner of all his joys and 
sorrows; one who shall know every secret 
of his heart, and whose countenance shall be 
the mirror of his own bliss or discontent ; 
the mother of his children, and a sort of 
presiding divinity at the altar of domestic 
peace.’ What then are the subjects of his 
inquiry? Does he ask, what are her mental 
or moral qualifications for the responsible 
station to which he would call her? Does 
he examine whether there be congeniality of 
temper, or disposition, or habits ;—oneness 
of taste and aim; whether she is pious, in- 
-dustrious, discreet ? One would expect such 
inquiries in view of the end. 

But no such thing. He settles his account 
in a much more commodious manner. With 
him the whole matter can be determined 
upon arithmetical calculation ; for instance, 


a 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 13 


he ascertains the probable weautH of the 
father. He has occasion to refer to the tax- 
‘ books, and, by good luck, learns the amount 
of taxable property given in; he counts the 
negro houses or the number of hands in the 
field; ascertains the amount of stocks, their 
probable value; finds out the number of chil- 
dren ; speculates on the probable number of 
years the old father will be detained out of 
paradise. And having considered the whole 
matter, and by the help of a few rules of 
arithmetic, he is, upon the testimony of 
figures, head and ears in love,—resolves on 
courtship,—manages the affair with address ; 
succeeds in persuading an amiable girl that 
she is the object of his heart’s undying devo- 
tions; wins her affections, and crowns a 
course of deep and successful hypocrisy, by 
an act of cold-blooded and sordid villany. 
He leads her to the altar, hears from her lips 
the sweet tones of confiding love, plighting 
to him the vows of a guileless spirit. He 
hears all this, and yet with his eye upon 
lands and negroes and stocks, he perjures 
himself before the throne of God. 

Sometimes this sordid spirit is cherished 
by parents. They look to the marriage of 
7 2 


‘ 


14 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


their children only as it adds wealth to the 
family. Hence a great number of what the 
world calls prudent matches are formed by 
the sagacious and far-seeing old folks, with- 
out much reference to the wishes of the par- 
ties immediately concerned. Here is a pru- 
dent old father, who may be supposed to care 
greatly for the happiness of his children. 
And he has growing up before him a lovely 
daughter, with a heart susceptible of the 
purest affections; this daughter’s heart and 
hand are sought by one who is amiable, in- 
telligent, industrious, manly, and honourable. 
The heart he wins, because the beautiful girl 
alone has that to bestow, and with the instinct 
of pure and rational affection, she bestows it 
onmerit. But gaining the hand is a different 
affair. Here a prudent, money-loving, mam- 
mon-worshipping father, has to be consulted, 
who regarding his children only valuable as 
they increase the “wealth of the family,” says 
he has made a much more prudent choice for 
his beloved child, one who will take good 
care of her, and provide well for her. To 
be sure he never consulted congeniality or 
fitnéss of temper, disposition, and habits, 
(other than as they are connected with getting 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 15 


money,) whether he be refined or coarse, in- 
telligent or vulgar, pious or profane. The 
same potent rules of arithmetic settle the 
_ whole case; and a being, young and beauti- 
ful, and full of sensibility, is, by the stern 
mandate of paternal authority, compelled to 
make vows with the lips at the altar of God, 
which the heart abhors to ratify. I have not 
language sufficiently strong to express my 
detestation of the hoary sinner who can thus 
deliberately, in cold blood, immolate a love- 
ly, trembling child upen the altar of mammon. 
Marriages of this sort must lead to disastrous 
results. If nothing worse come of it, there 
_ 1s, at least, the destruction of the peace and 
happiness, too frequently for time and eter- 
nity, of one immortal being. But sometimes 
a state of feeling is induced, which leads to 
desperate recklessness of conduct; which 
not unfrequently entails infamy upon more 
than one. 

Another error of fatal tendency, on this 
subject, arises from the extensive prevalence 
of a light and frivolous literature, made up 
of love-fictions. Apart from the sickly, vi- 
tiated taste, which is induced by this species 
of reading, it imbues the young with wrong 


16 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


and pernicious opinions and principles, in 
reference to the every-day relations and obli- 
gations of life; and in no respect is it more 
injurious, than in the influence it exerts in the 
formation of matrimonial connections. The 
imagination and the passions having been 
principally appealed to by this sort of read- 
ing, and the judgment, the understanding, 
the conscience entirely overlooked,—wrong 
views of love and of marriage, as to its nature, 
obligations, and ends, will necessarily result. 
Hence, thousands of young persons act on 
the presumption, that all such affairs are 
regulated by fate or destiny. Their heads 
are full of ideal beings, such as have never 
peopled this globe since the gates of paradise 
were closed on the first offending pair. 
Hence their night and day dreams are full 
of creatures, beautiful as angels, with forms 
of perfect symmetry, and voices sweet as the 
songs of Eden’s birds, and hearts incapable 
of cherishing aught but love and purity. 
Visions beam before the mind’s eye of manly 
forms, lofty bearing, the very soul of honour, 
genius of the first order, in bosoms that never 
felt the gush of impure passions, the stirrings 
of anger or ambition. And then, when the 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 17 


God of heaven is dethroned, and in his stead 


a divinity is enshrined, called chance, and 
fate, and fortune, to whom is committed the 


management of all the matter, it is not very 


wonderful that we hear of falling in love at 


first sight ; and of this, too, as a thing impos- 


sible to be resisted; and without ever stop- 
ping to consult reason, or judgment, or 
prudence, or conscience in the matter, they 
love to distraction ; and he who would whis- 
per to them the propriety of pausing to exa- 
mine awhile whether all is suitable, runs the 
risk of being charged with possessing a soul 


of ice. Now this class of people usually 
marry foolishly, and live unhappily. When 


those creatures of poetry and perfection come 
to encounter together the matter-of-fact rela- 
tions of life, and find in each other not angels, 
but irritable creatures of flesh and blood, who 
are sometimes fitful and ill-humoured ; and 
the path of life becomes rough and thorny, 
and the yoke chafes, because they neither see 
eye to eye, nor pull the same way; then, 
when too late to profit by the discovery, they 
find they were mistaken. Did you never see 
a lovely and accomplished young woman, the 
pride of her friends, and the delight of the 
Oe 


18 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


circle m which she moved,—her eye light 
with joy, and her step buoyant with hope? 
She had given her hand and plighted her 
vows at the altar of God, and her heart was 
fully in the pledge. To a superficial observer 
it seemed that her happiness was complete. 
But why is it that a few short months have 
withered the rose on her cheek? Why has 
- her eye lost its fire, her step its lightness? 
You detect frequent indications of absent 
thought,—a mind abstracted from surround- 
ing scenes, and communing with untold sor- 
rows. Her friends have marked the change 
with anxious solicitude, and all wonder what 
can have produced this revolution. The 
shades of the tomb gather early about her, 
and an aching and broken heart resigns its 
hold on earth, to seek an asylum in the bosom 
of God. Do you ask the cause of all this 
thorough and speedy ruin? I answer, she 
was mistaken; she had given her heart and 
linked her destiny to a being incapable of 
appreciating the priceless jewel confided to 
him; her heart had embarked all here, and 
all was lost. 

Or, if you please, take another case, which 
is not by any means a fancy picture. I have 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 19 


Seen a young man, reared in respectability, 
nurtured in the lap of piety. During all his 
youth, he was industrious, sober, temperate, 
and entirely amiable. His parents regarded 
him with honest pride, and his sisters loved 
to call him brother. He was looked upon, by 
his youthful associates, with respect and admi- 
ration; all loved him, all praised him, and 
his friends supposed that he had crowned his 
earthly bliss when he led to the altar a lovely. 
and accomplished bride. But whence is it 
that he so early gives evidence that a strange 
change has come over the spirit of his dream ? 
Why is it that his home has lost its charms? 
_ Why do his feet wander in the way of forbid- 
den pleasures?—Why is his eye red, and his 
countenance bloated? Why does the mid- 
night hour find him so often the companion 
of bacchanalian revellers, and why so soon 
Jaid in a drunkard’s grave? I answer he was 
mistaken! He had wedded a lovely form, 
but it enshrined the temper of a demon. He 
had staked his all of hope and peace and com- 
fort on this union, and all is. lost, and his soul 
has perished in the wreck. In conclusion, on 
this point, we say to our young friends, be 
sure to marry, but take very special care whom 


20 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


you marry. Are you seeking a wife? Look 
well to her tempers, her tastes, her habits. 
Let her be discreet, good-tempered, sober in 
her conversation, prudent in her associations, 
industrious in her habits, an obedient daugh- 
ter, an affectionate sister, one who can find 
ample enjoyment at home, and is not depend- 
ant for happiness on company or fashion, either 
as to its wardrobe or public amusements ; one 
-who is not always seeking after, or delighted 
with, the flatteries of the other sex; one who 
is much more anxious to deserve commenda- 
tion than to receive it. And finally, and above 
all, let her be unaffectedly and habitually 
pious. I would not (said one who was not 
himself pious) marry any woman who was not 
a Christian. I should feel it such an honour 
to share a heart in which God dwelt. It was 
a fine thought, and soos to be specially 
remembered. 

You want a friend in whom you can have 
entire and unlimited confidence: one who can 
be your counsellor in all circumstances of dif- 
ficulty or trial; one who is to be identified 
with you through life, in hope and fear, in joy 
and sorrow. She is to be a sort of presiding 
divinity at thy family board, and her counte- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 21 


nance the mirror in which must be reflected 
the faithful image of thy domestic bliss or wo ; 
one who will be discreet, affectionate and firm 
in governing her children ; in short, who will 
love you for your own sake, be happy with you 
in a cabin, and who will cleave the closer to 
you when the storms of adversity or persecu- 
tion shall have swept away or withered every 
vestige of earthly comfort from about you. 
Now bear all these things in mind, and then 
to your prayers and the exercise of a becoming 
prudence, and you will not be likely to fail. 
To my fair friends a word of advice and 
admonition. First of all, lend no ear to the 
wooing of him who is an unbeliever or a 
skeptic on the subject of religion. The Bible 
is the great charter of woman’s rights. Where 
this book is not known, she is a slave. Its 
influence exalts her to her proper station, and 
the man who, in this land of light and vision, 
can impudently question the authority of this, 
the great and only charter of your rights, gives 
strong indications of what his heart is capable 
of devising; and if, after this warning, you 
confide your all to him, you will deserve what 
follows. Secondly, give not your heart to 
him who tarries long at the wine ; who loves a 


39 , FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


social glass of brandy with an old friend ; who 
‘is a connoisseur in mint juleps, and the various 
preparations of the bar-room. If already the 
intoxicating draughts have bewitched him, 
what can you hope for in after years. Trust 
not that his love for you, and your consequent 
influence over him, will reform him. It is pos- 
sible one such case out of a thousand may 
have occurred; but, believe me, ’tis a forlorn 
hope. If the sparkling glass, the bacchanalian 
song, and the ribald and vulgar jest of the 
drunkard have charmed him; the tones of your 
voice, sweet as they are to him now, will 
soon lose their power to restrain him. Wed 
not the man who loves a game at cards or 
billiards, though he be polished, intelligent, 
and prepossessing. Close thy heart against 
him, and stop thy ears against his pleading? 
Canst thou trust thy happiness in the hands of 
a gambler? Pause ere thou do it. His heart 
is false, his lips profane, and his passions his 
only acknowledged law of action. Listen not 
to the speech of him who isa drone in society, 
whois a lounger about taverns, adding nothing 
to the world’s production, but spunging on the 
-charity of others for bread. You wanta friend, 
a protector, one who has a heart to appreciate 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 93 


you, and who willlove you for your own sake, 
sympathize with you in your griefs and plea- 
sures; who will bear with your weaknesses, 
and gently correct your errors; and, above 
all, one who will help you to heaven. In 
view of all these things, should you not deli- 
berate well before you bind yourself with cords 
which you can never loose, and which may be- 
come more galling than the chains of the galley- 
slave. When I look on woman, the loveliest 
of God’s works, but feeble and helpless as she 
is lovely, I can but regard her with deep soli- 
citude, and look to her future with painful 
anxiety, when I see her hastily, and without 
_ due caution, taking upon her vows which may 
consign her to disappointment and agony and 
heart-breaking. Man has strength and power, 
and these, if used legitimately, might be the 
strength and protection of the gentler sex ; but 
if a base and corrupt heart give direction to 
such attributes, what may a feeble, helpless 
woman expect under the wing of such protec- 
tion? Alas! how many broken-hearted wives 
have gone down to an early grave, burying in 
the coffin the secret of their wo; and how 
many breaking hearts in this land are to-day 
struggling in hopeless despondency with a tide 


94. FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


of wretchedness, whose source and depth are 
known only to God! Let the man of your 
choice be intelligent; a high-minded, honour- 
able man, who scorns the slightest approach 
to littleness or meanness. Let him be strictly 
temperate, industrious and economical in his 
habits, with heart and hand, and pocket, ready 
to promote every good work. In short, let 
him be a man of undissembled and consistent 
piety, or at any rate one who reverences God’s 
name, his book, and the institutions of his 
house. Finally, let me say to you, marry no 
man upon a slight acquaintance. Take time, 
—especially #f you are an HEIRESs,—to scruti- 
nize him closely, before you consent to stand 
with him at the altar of God, and say,—I 
will. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 25 


CHAPTER II. 
CONJUGAL RESPONSIBILITIES. 


We will suppose that you have followed 
the advices already suggested; that with 
Christian prudence, and in the spirit of prayer, 
you have taken this most important step. 
You are married; you have formed a union 
which death alone can dissolve: and it is 
now a matter of the utmost importance that 
you deport yourselves in such a manner as to 
make the union mutually productive of happi- 
ness. In order to this let each consider well 
the duties and responsibilities appropriate to 
his or her station, and from the very com- 
mencement resolve, in humble dependence 
upon divine grace, to attempt earnestly and 
perseveringly the performance of every one 
of them. As we like always to begin at the 
beginning, let us suppose that you are just 
married and gone home to housekeeping. 
The very first night you spend in your new 
habitation let there be family worship, in pro- 
per form and spirit. Very likely the devil 

3 


26 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


will whisper, that as there are none present 
but you and your wife, and you both pray in 
secret, there is no need for family worship ; 
but do not, I beseech you, suffer yourself to 
be thus beguiled. Be assured there is a fine 
moral influence exerted upon both husband 
and wife, growing out of the fact that they 
have bowed together morning and evening at 
the family altar; and if you neglect this im- 
‘portant duty at first, it will be, probably, very 
difficult to. excite you to its performance when 
increasing family cares shall seem to offer.a 
plausible pretext for continued neglect. At- 
tend punctually to family devotion, though 
only you and your wife kneel together in its 
performance. Let the family Bible be there 
at the start, the first book in your hbrary, and 
permit no volume afterwards to obtrude itself, 
which cannot, with a hearty good will, afford 
to keep company with that blessed old book. 
And when I say a family Bible, I mean a re- 
spectably-sized one, with good print, such as 
will not tax the eyes of any aged prophet of 
God who may chance to sojourn with you. 
I doubt the cleverness of him, who, with the 
ability to do better, hands me at prayer-time 
a little duodecimo Bible, because it costs 


\ 
FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 27 


something less than a larger one would have 
done. And now, having begun right, con- 
tinue ; hold on steadily in your course. Hav- 
ing taken up family worship, never neglect 
it. Let neither your weariness at night, nor 
your haste in the morning, nor the presence 
of strangers, nor your supposed want of gifts, 
be pleaded in justification of such neglect. 
Let your wife, your children, your servants, 
in all their interests of soul and body, be the 
subjects of your petitions; and let your 
prayers and thanksgivings embrace your 
fields, your barns, and all the interests which 
pertain to.you as a Christian man. So may 
you expect God’s blessing to rest richly on 
you and yours. 

But remember that prayer is not all that is 
necessary. You pray for grace, and grace 
is given; but it must be exhibited in your 
temper and conversation, for therefore was it 
bestowed. What does St. Paul say of the 
duties of husbands? « Husbands, love your 
wives.”? Now, here is the duty: love your 
wife as your own flesh: if you hate her, you 
hate yourself; if you love her, you but love 
your own flesh. Treat her, not with harsh- 
ness, not with lordly superiority, not as_a 


| 


28 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


slave, not as an inferior, not as an idol; but 
as an helper sent thee from God; as the con- 
fidential friend of thy heart, thy counsellor, 
thy comforter, an heir with thee of immor- 
tality and eternal life. Let thine eye be 
bright when thou lookest on her. Let the 
law of kindness be on thy lips when thou 
speakest to her and of her. Let her feel that 
thou confidest fully in her at all times; in 
short, let her feel that she is respected as 
well as loved by her husband. It is not 
enough that you do not treat her with harsh- 
ness. A fond wife’s heart may be withered, 
and its every bud of promise blighted, with- 
out one angry word. Let her but see and 
feel that her husband’s confidence and sym- 
pathy are withheld from her, and the deed is 
done. And for this the clouded brow and 
the sealed lip may be entirely sufficient. A 
woman’s heart may be petrified by coldness, 
as well as broken by harshness. Your wife 
is identified with you in interest, therefore 
consult with her in all matters affecting your 
mutual welfare.’ It will have a good effect 
whether the advice be implicitly followed or 
not; but in most cases husbands would find 
their interest promoted by following the ad- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 99 


vice of a prudent helpmate. And should 
misfortune threaten you, and bankruptcy 
knock at your door, don’t conceal it from her 
who is, above all others, interested in know- 
ing it. ‘Tell her at once, freely and frankly, 
the whole matter, and it shall be better for 
thee in all respects. I once knew a gentle- 
man, a merchant, who had been for some 
time prosperous in business, and his family 
of course were living in comfort ; but sud- 
denly clouds gathered around him; he saw 
that he was ruined; but he concealed it from 
his wife. She saw, however, the change of 
countenance, and strove, with affectionate 
solicitude, to elicit from him the character 
and cause of his griefs, and at length suc- 
ceeded. He said, I am ruined, and the only 
thing that troubles me is, that you are to be 
reduced to want, and I am, to a great extent, 
physically unable to labour for your support ; 
and this has made me perfectly miserable. 
And what said this excellent woman? «And 
is that all, my husband, that has been trou- 
bling you? Don’t let that trouble you for 
another moment; I am in good health, and 
can work to support us both ; let the property 
go, God will provide for us.’’? Now, here was 
3* 


30 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


a wife worth having. But once more, treat 
your wife with special aad before your 
children. 

I have knownsome Paestent and respect- 
able men who seemed to me to take special 
pains to mortify their wives by finding fault 
with almost all their doings. If at table, even 
when visitors Were present, nothing on the 
table was exactly right; the dishes were not 
well selected, or they were not well dressed ; 
nothing was as well prepared as he had found 
it at somebody else’s house; or something 
was wrong, either in meat or bread, or vege- 
table, or pudding, or sauce. Now, whether 
such gentlemen intend to exhibit their own 
superior skill in cookery, or to lecture their 
wives for inferior taste and skill in this very 
important department, we beg leave to sug- 
gest to them that it is rather offensive both to 
the visitors and to the lady of the house, espe- 
cially when it happens, (as I have sometimes 
known it,) that the children unite in depre- 
ciating the house-keeping qualifications of the 
mother. Finally, remember that your wife is 
a fallen and imperfect creature, subject to 
many weaknesses in common with yourself, 
and to some, perhaps, which are peculiar to 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 31 


her sex; you will therefore have need to un- 
derstand well and practise on the maxim bear 
and forbear. ‘To conclude on this point; you 
are to love your wife as Christ loved the 
church. How much was that? He gave 
himself for it, his life, his blood. So do you 
love your wife. 

And now for a little advice to wives. The 
apostle says, «Wives submit yourselves to 
your own husbands.”? He takes for granted 
that you love your husbands, and proceeds to 
enforce that duty which you might be most 
inclined to neglect. ‘There are some wives 
who seem to me to act very unwisely in this 
matter. They are all the while quarrelling 
with the apostle for giving them this advice. 
They maintain that obedience is just as much 
the business of husbands as it is of wives; 
and their practice shows the sincerity of their 
faith, since they are constantly struggling for 
empire. ‘They must needs bear rule in every 
thing. There must be neither buying nor 
selling without their approbation; and it 
is matter of special importance with them to 
thwart their husbands in matters where the 
public eye can discern who rules. This class 
of wives are generally fond of displaying their 


32 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


superiority in intellect, taste, and judgment, 
over those who are by God’s appointment 
constituted their governors. Such a wife, 
especially if she be given to extravagance and 
fashion, is a sad drawback upon the pocket 
and the peace of any poor fellow who hap- 
pens to be her subject. God pity him; he 
has a sorry time in this world, however he 
may fare'in the next. Let me beseech the 
wives whom I address, to give over this fool- 
ish struggle. Be content to discharge your 
peculiar duties as Christian wives with mo- 
desty, industry, meekness, and_ affection. 
Let your husband see, let him feel, that next 
to God, he is enthroned in your heart. Let 
him have the proof of this in your looks, your 
words, the neatness of your person, and the 
arrangement of your household matters. 
When, with industrious toil and care, he 
provides to your hands the means of comfort, 
let him see that his wife knows how to use to 
the best advantage the means placed at her 
disposal ; and that they are even multiplied 
under her prudent management. Study his 
peculiar tastes and temperament, and accom- 
modate yourself to them as far as may be, 
without compromitting the sacred dictates of 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 38 


conscience. Does he return home from con- 
tact with corrupt men and adverse fortune, 
his brow clouded with disquiet, and a look 
of trouble and ill-humour? Be sure you 
meet him with a sunny countenance. Let 
love be in your looks, and in the sweet and 
gentle tones of your voice. Wait a little, 
and he will soon be himselfagain. If in some 
gloomy moment he happens to speak a short 
or harsh word, don’t notice it, repay it with 
gentleness, and he’ll soon repent. Don’t 
look sour, maintain a dull silence, and keep 
him at a distance, or else you may drive him, 
before you are aware of it, beyond the power | 
of your attraction, and then wo be to you 
both. Would you retain your husband’s 
love? Don’t presume too much on its strength; 
don’t be always taking him to task for some 
inadvertent expression, and telling him that 
he don’t love you as he used to do; that he 
did not use to speak so short to you as he 
does now; or else the. very fact that you 
manifest any such suspicion may put him 
under constraint before his wife, whom he 
may be led to regard as a sort of spy upon 
his words and actions. This reserve may 
Jead you to jealousy, and fearful results may 


34 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


follow. Doubtless many husbands, once kind, 
have been ruined by such management. Be 
certain to deserve your husband’s love, and 
always act as if you were sure you possessed 
it; and if your husband be not a very brute, 
you will surely succeed in obtaining and re- 
taining it. Should there unfortunately be on 
the part of your spouse any manifestation of . 
declining affection, still bear in mind that 
you may possibly win him back to his. first 
love, but you can never upbraid nor scold him 
back. A man can bear the chafings of the 
world’s contact; men may cheat him and 
slander him, and he may be sick of it all, and 
turn away with disgust from all without, but 
his heart turns confidently to home, sweet home. 
There is one spot on earth where all is peace ; 
there is one heart whose every throb is true 
to him; one being whose gentleness shall 
soothe his troubles, and shall make her to 
him as the angel of God. But suppose this 
angel be a demon, and this paradise a gar- 
den of briers and thorns. What then? In 
short keep a pure heart, a bright eye, a kind 
look, loving words, a clean house, a well- 
‘managed pantry and kitchen: be neat and 
tidy in dress and person; love your Bible 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 30 


and your prayers, and you will likely have 
quite as much influence and power as any one 
good woman ought to be trusted with. Some 
wives waste every thing ; they make nothing; 
they take care of nothing; they buy every 
thing, and have nothing after all. They 
dance, dress, and go to parties, read novels, 
sleep late, and are capricious and ill-tem- 
pered. Or else they are sluttish in dress, 
dirty and ungainly in person, and in short, 
in house and appearance they seem to have 
made a league with dirt, till the league of 
conjugal affection is broken, and ruin comes 
amain.. 

Finally, let me say to both, seek, by all 
“proper means, to promote each other’s hap- 
piness; and especially remember that the 
great object of your union is to help each 
other to heaven. Strive for this constantly 
with much and earnest prayer, and the peace 
of God shall be with you. 


36 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER IV. 


PARENTAL DUTIES. 


WE shall now contemplate you as parents 
See that mother as she presses to her bosom 
her first-born. She has just become a mo- 
ther ; how fondly she looks on the little help- 
less creature that lies in her bosom! What a 
tide of maternal feeling gushes through all her 
soul, in view of the new relations and affec- 
tions which now spring up around her! Fan- 
cy is busy, and hope is buoyant in the mo- 
ther’s heart as she fondly weaves the web of 
the future. Have you seen that father too 
as he took his first-born into his arms, and 
gazed upon it with all a father’s yearning? 
Did you see him as he looked fondly upon the 
wife of his youth, and then upon the precious 
pledge of their mutual love? Itis a hallowed 
moment, full of sacred and thrilling interest ; 
nor would we interrupt its joyousness, nor 
cloud the brightness of its anticipations; but 
we may just recommend to the happy parents 
to raise a joyful hosannah to God, and devoutly 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 37 


and earnestly invoke the divine blessing upon 
this new-born heir of immortality. Unitedly 
dedicate your child to Father, Son and Holy 
Ghost, in solemn prayer ; and as early as cif® 
cumstances will permit it, repeat the dedica- 
- tion in the solemn ordinance of the house of 
God. When your child becomes old enough 
to take notice, it may be of importance for 
you to observe carefully the developments of 
thought and temper, and commence early 
and gently, but firmly, the work of training. 
Children can often be controlled in their tem- 
pers and habits at a very early age by judi- 
cious management; and the earlier you lay 
the foundations of education in the mind and. 
heart of your child, the better both for your- 
self and him. All children have not the same 
disposition ; and as the management must to 
a great extent be regulated by the tempera- 
ment and predominant characteristics of those 
to be governed, it is the wisdom of parents 
to study these early indications with great 
care, and to conform the system of govern- 
ment to the peculiar characteristics of each 
child. Every discreet parent who has to ma- 
nage half a dozen children, knows that pre- 
cisely the same kind of management will not 
4 


38 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


answer for all. There must be occasional 
variations to suit peculiar circumstances. The 
timid must not be controlled precisely as the 
roward and self-willed are. This is a per- 
fectly plain case ; and yet itis feared that this _ 
view is not always regarded by parents. “It 
is So much easier to make absolute general 
rules, and to force every thing up to obe- 
dience by the sternest sort of discipline, than 
it is to make patient explanations, and tem- 
perate and judicious. discriminations, that 
many, to avoid trouble, ruin their children. 
Your child is supposed to be old enough to 
understand your instructions. It is therefore 
high time that you had settled your system of 
government; for recollect there must be system, 
or there can be no good government. There 
must be laws definitely settled and steadily 
adhered to, or your house will be the scene of 
wretchedness and confusion. Now then let 
the father and mother prayerfully and care- 
fully talk over this matter. Settle on your 
plan of government in view of your child’s 
present and future existence. Lét there be 
a mutual understanding and agreement be- 
tween you, so that there may not be subse- 
quently any interference in your administra- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 39 


tion. - Your code of laws,must of course at 
first be short and simple ; and-you must take 
pains to make the child understand, as far as 
he is capable of doing so, not only the mean- 
ing of your laws, but also the reasonableness 
and propriety of them. ‘To be sure, after you 
have done all, there will probably be many 
things, the reason of which the little boy can- 
not understand, and at this point he must 
learn that faith in your wisdom and goodness 
must produce obedience. Your will must be 
regarded by him as law. ‘This is absolutely 
necessary for the well-ordering of your house ; 
but at the same time it is of great consequence 
_ that your commands be wisely adapted to the 
circumstances of your children, and it is a 
great point gained if you can persuade them 
that all is reasonable, and right, and kind. 
Therefore take some pains and trouble in ex- 
plaining matters to them ; and if you succeed 
in showifig them the propriety of one of your 
rules, it will go very far towards securing 
obedience to two or three which they don’t 
well understand. Some parents are too im- 
patient, or overbearing, or indolent, to pursue 
this course ; it is easier to lay down the law, 
and seek to obtain obedience by arbitrary en- 


40 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


forcement. Now, whatever you may think 
of it at first, at the last you will discover that 
it was of great importance for you to have 
secured in the beginning not only the fear, 
but the affectionate confidence and respect of 
your children. 

But, says a parent, I have tried repeatedly 
to instruct and explain, and yet the child does 
not understand: what shall I do next? I an- 
swer, keep ina good humour; let patience 
have her perfect work, and make a few more 
trials. It is no wonder, says the poet Mont- 
gomery, that John Wesley was so great a 
man: he had an extraordinary mother. And 
he selects in illustration of this remark the 
following incident: when one said to her, 
Mrs. Wesley, how can you tell that dull boy 
the same thing twenty times over? Because, 
said she, when [have told him nineteen times 
he forgets it; but when I have told him the 
twentieth time he will remember. It was an 
admirable reply, and indicates with sufficient 
distinctness one principal cause of the success- 
ful family government of that excellent lady. 
Let your earliest instructions have reference 
to God as the universal Father of men. Teach 
your child early to feel that God is his father, 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. Al 


and claims from him the gratitude and love 
of a child; and carefully, diligently, and with 
all simplicity, impress on his mind the great 
principles of experimental and practical re- 
ligion. But be very careful to explain and 
illustrate these matters in such a style of af- 
fectionate simplicity as that they shall un- 
derstand your meaning. Children often do 
wrong because they don’t understand the 
right at a very early period. Inculcate upon 
their minds in the most irapressive manner 
the importance of speaking the truth. Teach 
them to loathe and detest a lie in every form 
and shape, and to value the truth above all 
_ price; and illustrate in your practice what 
you teach them. Parents should both speak 
and act the truth before their children. Let 
me most earnestly beseech you never to tell 
your children an untruth. Keep your word to 
them at any cost; and in order to this let me 
bring in another rule of great consequence. 
If you would successfully govern your chil- 
dren, you must first learn to govern your- 
selves. There must be no thoughtless, reck- 
less ebullitions of temper. This will prevent 
you from making hasty threats or promises 
which are pretty sure to be forgotten or 


42 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


broken. Never threaten your child in a mo- 
ment of passion ; never make a promise with- 
out due thought, lest a calmer nfoment,.or 
more deliberate thought lead you to falsify 
your word, which would be a misfortune 
deeply to be depiored. I have sometimes 
seen a mother who said to her child, if you 
do thus and so, [ll chastise you. The child 
violates the command, and what does the 
mother do? Adhere to the truth? No; but 
repeating the prohibition, she says with in- 
creased emphasis,—If you do so again, Pil 
be sure to whip you. Again the law is broken 
—for the child is encouraged now to look 
confidently for the failure of the penalty, and 
I hear the mother in an angry tone of voice 
exclaim,—« Why, William, is it possible? 
How dare you disobey me,—upon my word, 
if I catch you at that again I'll whip you as 
sure as you are born ; that I will.’”’ Ina short 
time the offence was repeated, and I began to 
wonder how the good mother would manage 
tlis difficulty ; when behold she would not see 
the offence! Strange infatuation and foolish 
dissembling! It requires no prophet to predict 
the influence of all this upon the child in fu- 
ture time ; the mother’s authority is despised, 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. A3 


because confidence is lost in her veracity. 
Let me then most earnestly and affectionately 
charge you, as you love yourselves or them, 
never tell your children an untruth; never 
deceive them ; and never permit them to ut- 
ter falsehood to you without applying ade- 
quate correction. I regard the love of truth 
as lying at the foundation of all dignity and 
excellence of character ; and whenever I see 
the want of it in the young I cannot avoid 
auguring evil to them in coming time. When 
I see a lad tell a lie-to escape chastisement, I 
take it for granted, that without. a thorough 
and speedy reformation in his ground-works, 
_ there’ is but little hope for him. 

Now, my young friends, let me affection- 
ately entreat you never to tell a lie on any 
occasion. Rather take fifty whippings than | 
tell one falsehood. I love to see a little boy 
frank and ingenuous. Never go into bad 
company nor get into scrapes; but if you 
should unfortunately fall into evil, let there be 
no skulking; let there be no dodging, no 
_ equivocation; stand square up to the truth 
like a man, and ask forgiveness, and it shall 
fare better with you in this world and the 
next. Some children do wrong; they fear 


44 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


detection and tell a falsehood to prevent it. 
But now they have incurred a double guilt, 
and conscience makes cowards of them ; they 
are guilty, and constantly suspicious of dis- 
covery ; this leads to more lying, and the very 
effort to prevent detection hastens it; and 
then how mean and despicable they appear 
both to themselves and others. But see there ~ 
that little boy who has been doing wrong; he 
is called up before his father, who, switch in 
hand, looking him sternly in the face, says, 
My son, did you do this thing? The cul- 
prit’s cheeks grow pale ; the tear starts in his 
eye, and he says, Yes, father, I did it; I 
knew ’twas wrong, and I deserve correction ; 
yet will I never tell an untruth. Iam guilty, 
yet, father, forgive me. God bless you, 
my son, you'll make a man some of these 
days. Does his father whip him? Not he. 
It is the lack of regarding truth in boyhood 
which sends out upon the country such swarms 
of mercantile, trading, office-seeking, and 
office and bank-robbing rogues and scoundrels. 
Children early imbibe an aversion to truth, 
and a propensity to falsehood, which, if not 
sufficiently checked in childhood, grows 
stronger with increasing years; so that he 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. AD5 


who, when a boy, equivocated or lied to 
escape a flogging or to win at a game of 
marbles, as he grows up adopts the creed that 
a profitable lie is better than an unprofitable 
truth ; and that ’tis only an instance of clever 
shrewdness to lie when something is to be 
made by it. Send such an one into the world 
of trade, and short yard-sticks, deceitful 
weights, and adulteration of articles come 
about him, in company with plenty of mis- 
representation as to quality of goods, cheap- 
ness of price, and the like. Or perhaps he 
trades heavily, owes an immense debt, fails 
in business, cheats, or compels his creditors 
into a settlement at an enormous discount, 
builds a palace, rides in a splendid coach, 
drinks the best wines, keeps the best table, 
and of consequence has plenty of company ; 
looks down of course scornfully upon the 
honest, industrious poor whom he has cheated 
out of their hag earnings; usually dies a 
drunkard, and makes his home at last with 
the father of lies. Or he enters the political 
arena: he is a candidate for public favour, 
and seeks elevation with a zeal, which, if 
properly directed, would secure him a seat in 
heaven. No difficulties appal him ; the bar- 


46 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


riers which a regard to truth and righteous- 
ness interposes in the way of success, stop 
him not fora moment; he regards them as 
mere cobwebs, which might stop a strait- 
jacket enthusiast, but cannot affect the move- 
ments of a shrewd and able tactician lke 
himself—one whom the fates have. ordained 
to be a great man. His motto is, success by 
any and by all means; he is thus prepared to 
be a thorough partisan, ready to follow to the 
death any political party leader, who is shrewd 
enough to notice in time the change of the 
wind. He is a legislator—swears to main- 
tain inviolate the constitution of the country 
—takes his seat, and never thinks of the con- 
stitution afterwards. A label, in staring 
capitals, might be placed upon his back, « To 
let, to the highest bidder.’ You never know 
where to find him till you ascertain where is 
the best pay. You cannot trust him with 
public money, because his disregard of truth 
when a boy has made him a rogue at man- 
hood. If he can rob a bank or a public 
office of a hundred thousand dollars, and by 
the aid of steam put himself beyond the pro- 
bability of the gallows or the state’s prison, 
why it is a shrewd trick: or if he can prosti- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. AT 


tute the influence of official station to the pro- 
motion of his own selfish ends, to the great 
detriment of the dignity and interest of 
government, he does it unhesitatingly; for 
what signify honour and dignity to one who 
has been a liar from his youth? Or perhaps 
such an one is gathered into the’church, and 
you think at first that he is really about to do 
well; but ina little while you will be apt to 
perceive the stirring of the old leaven, and 
will find that the church has made but a sorry 
acquisition. It is next to impossible to keep 
such men straight for any length of time. In 
short, if a man is wild and dissipated in his 
habits, it is bad enough; but if he have about 
him the sternness of truth-loving and truth- 
telling virtue, there is hope; for there is 
something on which to build all that is good 
and noble in human character: but if he has 
no regard for the truth, there is no depend- 
ence on him anywhere, or for any thing ; 
neither God nor man cantrusthim. Let me 
therefore, once more, and, if possible, with 
increased earnestness and affection, beseech 
you, parents, with especial pains-taking and 
solicitude, to teach your children to love the 
truth, and to abhor falsehood as they abhor 
perdition. 


A8 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER V. 
DISCIPLINE OF CHILDREN. 


WE have said in a previous chapter thai 
the child must understand that your will is 
to be his law; we now repeat that this is 
essential to the peace of all concerned. You 
must watch the development of temper and 
disposition in the child, and must set your- 
self firmly and prudently to correct what is 
wrong and give the right direction to taste 
and temper and habit. In accomplishing 
this important object, you will very probably . 
find yourself placed in circumstances to test 
your equanimity and patience to the utmost 
extent. You will find, in the temper of the 
little creature before you, all the perverseness 
and obstinacy of a fallen heart; your victory 
over his infantile will may cost you many a 
pang of bitter anxiety and many a tear of 
anguish. Yet you must conquer. Only a 
few suggestions at this point. The first step 
in this matter is to conquer yourselves, Chil-. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 49- 


dren are exceedingly imitative creatures, and 
they are also very keen observers, especially 
of the conduct of their parents ; hence, if you 
would have your children good, the first step 
is be good yourselves. Learn to control 
your own tempers, and words, and actions, 
and you may enter upon the task of govern- 
ing your little ones with some prospect of 
success ; and should you despair of accom- 
plishing this work because you have a high 
temper, which it is «impossible for you to con- 
trol, we say to you in the first place, banish 
the word impossible from your book, and say 
with Paul, «I can do all things through Christ 
which strengtheneth me.” I know it is too 
much for human nature; but remember there 
is a God of omnipotent grace, whose power 
is called into requisition by earnest and faith- 
ful prayer. ° Let your commands be reason- 
able, and wisely adapted to age and time and 
circumstances, and never make a requisition 
just to show your authority. Set before your 
little subjects with affectionate simplicity the 
advantage of obedience and its opposite. 
Don’t be in too great a haste to correct or to 
threaten, but try the gentler and kinder method 
of persuasion. If these fail, proceed delibe- 
5. 


50 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


rately, prayerfully, calmly to the work of cor- 
rection. Let there be no upbraiding, no 
scolding, no invidious comparisons between 
them and other children. This sort of thing 
usually does no good, but much harm. Let 
your corrections “be administered in private, 
not before company. Let the culprit see 
that while a sense of duty has compelled you 
to the use of the rod, you have carefully 
avoided every thing which might unnecessa- 
rily wound his sensibilities or mortify him. 
Whenever you undertake to correct him for 
a fault, never cease till you have subdued the 
offender to confession, contrition, and the 
promise of future improvement. It may bea 
hard struggle; but as you love your child, 
don’t give it over till you succeed. It may 
cure him at once and save him many a score 
of lashes in coming time. In your adminis- 
tration be decided and uniform ; let children 
understand from the beginning that they must 
obey; that your rules are settled; that obe- 
dience is sure to meet its reward; and that 
the penalty uniformly succeeds disobedience 
—and that too without any storm of threaten- 
ing or scolding; and I beg leave to record 
just at this point, that, in an experience of 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 51 


nearly forty years, I do not recollect a single 
case with children or servants in which 
threatening or ill-natured scolding ever pro- 
duced any good result. - In your administra- 
tion ever bear this in mind, that it is the 
certainty and not the severity of punishment 
which is effective. If you have once pun- 
ished your child for an offence, never upbraid 
him with it afterwards. I have known 
mothers who were in the habit of saying, 
“whenever their children offended—« that’s 
just the way you always do; you never do 
any thing right;” and then follows a re- 
hearsal of the criminal docket for the last ten 
years. 

Now this is very wrong. If the child has 
committed these many and great and long- 
continued wrongs, and you have performed 
your duty, the proper correction has been 
administered ; in which case it is certainly 
cruel and unjust to bring up these matters 
again to mortify and annoy him: and if, as 
is almost sure to be the case, the allegation 
is untrue, why then you not only unnecessa- 
rily wound his sensibilities, but knowing as 
he does that the thing is untrue, and that the 
parent knows it to be so, there is danger that 


52 ' FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


he will lose confidence in your veracity, and 
may be led to cherish feelings of recklessness 
which may ruin him and destroy your peace 
for ever. I have known parents who had a 
foolish habit of entertaining their visitors with 
a detailed and minute history of the delin- 
quencies of their children, and at the close of 
this long chapter the announcement is delibe- 
rately made by the foolish parent that they 
have given up in despair; that it is impossi- 
ble for them to govern young master or mis- 
tress; and this fatal announcement is made 
in their presence.- Is it any wonder that 
these youthful delinquents resolve to reap the 
fruits of their victory, and that they make 
good in time to come such injudicious decla- 
rations ? 

Another evil, of opposite character but of 
kindred tendency, finds its origin in the 
fondness of certain doating parents, who, 
being persuaded that their children have no 
equals in the land as it regards amiability, 
beauty, and especially genius and _ intelli- 
gence; and being fully persuaded that there 
is nothing half so important in national or 
state or church affairs as the sayings or 
doings of these same prodigies, entertain you 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 53 


by the hour with the astounding develop- 
ments of mind and taste which paternal or 
maternal good sense and impartiality have 
discerned. Every smart saying is duly 
chronicled and properly reported for the 
instruction of their next visitors, with the aid 
of the necessary trimmings. Now a due 
proportion of blame or praise, properly ad- 
ministered as to time and place and manner, 
will be found of great importance in the train- 
ing of children ; but the extremes of reproach 
on the one hand, or of flattery on the other, 
as indicated above, must always exert. an 
injurious influence on the tempers and con- 
duct of children. | 

If you have several children, see to it that 
there be the utmost impartiality in your con- 
duct toward them. Let them feel that they 
are all equally beloved. Let there be no 
favourite child, or, if there be, keep it strictly 
within your own bosom. Let nothing in 
your conduct indicate that you have any such 
favourite, or else you will be apt to introduce 
trouble into your house. Your pet may be 
tempted to presume on your avowed par- 
tiality, and act offensively, and your foolish 
partiality may make him the object of the 

5x 


BA FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


jealousy, if not ultimately of the hatred, of 
brothers and sisters, and your house become 
the scene of fraternal feuds which may im- 
bitter the evening of your days, and follow 
your memory to the tomb with a curse rather 
than a blessing. Remember old Jacob and 
his amiable and beloved boy: alas, what 
trouble and anguish did this foolish fondness, 
and the public expression of it in the coat of 
many colours, bring both upon the aged 
patriarch and the pious and noble-hearted 
Joseph. ? 
You will teach your children early and 
constantly to reverence the institutions of 
religion. ‘Teach them to regard the Bible as 
the Book of God. You should see to it that 
they keep holy the Sabbath-day. Teach them 
to look upon it, not as the other days of the 
week, but as emphatically belonging to God, 
and that it demands of them a separation 
from ordinary amusements, visits, and em- 
ployments. Lead them to the house of God 
at a very early age, and enforce attendance 
on its services mildly, but firmly and uni- 
formly, as long as they remain under your 
control ; and do you faithfully endeavour that 
they be duly impressed with the sanctity of 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 55 


the courts of God’s house. I confess my 
very soul is frequently grieved when I see in 
the house of God a group of gay, thoughtless, 
laughing, whispering, tittering young people, 
many of whom I recognise as the sons and 
daughters of Christian and Methodist parents ; 
and I regret to add that this disposition to 
desecrate the temple of Jehovah exists, to a 
large extent, among that class of our young 
people who make large pretensions to scholar- 
ship and mental training. Upon what shall 
we charge this delinquency? Is it to be 
attributed to the parents, the teachers, or are 
the young sinners themselves alone to be 
charged with it? 

Selfishness is one of the essential ingre- 
dients of a fallen and corrupt heart; it is 
deeply rooted in the breast of childhood, and 
its growth is largely in advance of the physi- 
cal developments of the body; and this 
growth is greatly promoted by the training 
of boyhood. ‘The parent caters to it, when, 
in order to secure obedience, the child is 
hired, and its love and its confidence are the 
price of bribes. There are many fathers who 
are constantly inculcating upon their sons 
such maxims as « take care of number one ;” 


56 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


<«¢every man for himself;”” and both the prac- 
tice and the teachings of the parents deeply 
impress the child with the sentiment that 
man’s chief business here is to gratify and 
glorify himself. The result of such counsels 
from a parent’s lips, it requires no prophet to 
predict. The principles of selfishness take 
deep root in his nature, and diffuse them- 
selves throughout his whole character, until 
it may be said of him that he lives and moves 
and breathes only in view of the gratification 
of self. He has, in short, no eye to see, no 
heart to feel, no pocket to relieve the wants 
of his race ; in short, he has no heart to love 
his God or his fellow-men or his country, 
only so far as they may be made tributary to 
self. It will be your constant effort to express 
better sentiments, even such as are in unison 
with that sublime teaching of the apostle, no 
man liveth to himself. Let your children 
learn from both the teachings, the spirit, and 
ihe conduct of their parents, that God made 
them for usefulness, and that in this thing 
alone can they hope to find peace and happi- 
ness. 

If you expect your children to succeed 
well in any of the walks of useful and ho- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 57 


nourable life, you must by all means seek to 
awaken within them a spirit of independence. 
Even from early childhood let them learn to 
wait on themselves. It is a sad misfortune 
for children to have servants to wait on them; 
—for a young master to have a servant to 
clean his shoes, to bring him water, make his 
fire, bridle and saddle his horse, and do a 
hundred other little matters for him, which he 
ought by all means to do for Weiteclt although 
his father were able to give him a million of 
dollars. It would be a good rule in bringing 
up children to let them understand that no- 
body should do for them what they were able 
to do for themselves, and this would lead 
them to the spirit and the habits of self-de- 
pendence which are so necessary to one who 
will be called to buffet the winds and waves 
of this world. Raise your son thus, and when 
you lead him forth at manhood, and bid him 
go and seek his fortune, give him your parting 
prayer and blessing, and bid him remember 
that he has to depend alone upon God and 
himself, and you need not be greatly troubled. 

Be sure that he belongs to the class of men 
who almost uniformly succeed. 


58 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


It is of very great consequence that you 
teach your children habits of industry. Un-. 
less this is done, all other instructions will 
profit them to a very limited extent. Idle- 
ness is the fruitful parent of very much evil. 
Train your sons to business. Teach them to. 
work, and they will bless you for it in coming — 
time. He who brings up his son in idleness, 
usually sends out upon society another en- 
cumbrance and curse. There is a strange 
antipathy to labour among the young of this 
generation, which bodes much evil to country 
and church. The rich among us live in 
luxury and show, and those who are poorer 
follow suit. Honest labour is repudiated as 
unbecoming in young men of gentility and 
education, and as affording quite too slow a 
process for acquiring the necessary fund for 
maintaining proper rank and appearance. 
Some other more genteel and expeditious 
method of attaining the coveted distinction 
must therefore be resorted to, and in this 
folly the parents generally lead the way. We 
will suppose here is a thrifty farmer who has, 
by his own skill and industry in agricultural 
pursuits, acquired a competency and respec- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 59 


tability ; he has three sons to be educated 
and provided for. What is he going to 
make of them? Farmers, of course. As 
you value your reputation with the family 
don’t make such a suggestion, or the old 
people will give you a glance of pity and sur- 
prise, as much as to say, «¢How oddly you 
talk; you are at least a century behind the 
age. Why, man, we are people of property, 
and able to give our sons such an education 
as shall fit them to move in the higher circles; 
make farmers of them, no, no; one shallstudyt —- 
law, after he passes through college ; another 
shall read physic, and the third shall be a 
gentleman at large: make farmers of them! 
it would be a sin ‘against the republic of 
mind, to withdraw so large a portion of in- 
tellectual wealth from its capital.”” «I have 
worked hard all my life,” says the farmer, 
‘cand am resolved that my children shall 
never have it to do.” Now this is a very 
strange affair. Here is a man who, under 
Providence, owes every thing he has in this 
world, both as to fortune and character, to 
this same hard work; but for its necessity 
and influence upon him, he would possibly 


60 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


have been, long ago, hanged or lodged in the 
State’s prison, or been, to-day, a wandering 
vagabond, instead of being as he is, the ho- 
nest, virtuous, and respectable head of a 
prosperous family. And yet, to hear him 
talk, you would suppose that hard work em- 
braced in itself half the evils of pandemonium. 
Well, these sons of promising genius com- 
mence their career. ‘Their earlier years are 
passed in idleness. One of the first lessons 
which they have thoroughly mastered, is to 
eschew hard work. Some old writer has 
‘quaintly said that an idle man’s brain is the 
devil’s work-shop : twas wisely spoken ; and 
alas for the country, these shops are numerous, 
and the workman is rapid, so that plans, 
plots, and deeds of wickedness are turned 
off in swift succession to the great annoyance 
of all good people. Even gray hairs can 
scarcely be intrusted with leisure. Go to 
one of our villages, and mark that knot of 
noisy village politicians who hold their daily 
sessions, and spend most of their time in idle 
chat ; who that knows human nature will not 
feel for them? Old and established as they 
are, there is danger that they may get into 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 61 


mischief. Either their club will become a 
sort of radiating-point for slander, a court 
where the absent are every day put to the 
bar, and tried without the liberty of defence, 
or rancorous animosities are engendered, 
which issue in lasting hatred, or even in 
bloodshed; or else the stimulus of town 
gossip being insufficient, the bar-room and 
decanter supply the deficiency. Or, this 
failmg to meet the demand for excitement, 
there is a very natural and easy process into 
the back-room, which introduces them into 
the mysteries of the card or billiard-table. 
If the case of the old be so, who will not 
tremble to see the youth of the country placed 
in such circumstances of temptation. May 
we not reasonably anticipate the very worst 
results to them from this experiment? And 
does not the actual state of things in the 
country show that our strongest language is 
not misapplied in painting these dangers and 
evils. Go to your cities and villages, and 
mark the swarms of young men and lads who 
darken the doors of bar-rooms, and lounge 
about taverns; who are they? You shall 
find that they mostly belong to the class of 
young gentlemen who are quite too senti- 


62 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


mental and genteel to perform manual labour, 
but they are men of skill to mingle strong 
drink, and more so to swallow it. Who are 
proficients in the study and practice of pro- 
fanity ? And who are greeted by the clique 
as young men of parts and spirit? Who are 
those who spend much of the day and most 
of the night in back-rooms, or disturb the 
repose of village kitchens, or interrupt the 
quiet and peaceful inhabitants by their noc- 
turnal yellings and obscene speeches and 
songs? Who are they that crowd to your race- 
courses—those schools of gambling and dis- 
sipation; and promote all sorts of wicked- 
ness? The greater portion of them will be 
found to have proceeded from this class. 
Whence also proceeds the most of that class 
of young bipeds, who march, stick in hand, | 
in the rear of a cigar, to the house of God, 
and show their independence of God and 
man, by talking, laughing, smoking, and other- 
wise outraging all the laws of propriety and 
good-breeding? Alas for us if among these 
we are to look for the future lawgivers and 
rulers of the land; or should hostile feet press 
our shores, if these are to constitute the coun- 
try’s strong arm of defence. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 63 


I conclude this part of the subject, by en- 
treating you, parents, to bring up your children 
to habits of industry, and put them into some 
honest calling whereby they may obtain an 
honest living, and be a blessing to you and 
to the country. 


64 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER VI. 
MORAL TRAINING OF CHILDREN. 


WE beg leave to recall your attention to an 
important point, at which we have previously 
glanced, viz. : the importance of united-coun- 
sels and united management. We have fre- 
quently been grieved to witness in very re- 
spectable families the entire disregard of this 
rule. The little son has been doing some- 
thing wrong, for which he richly deserves cor- 
rection; and the mother resolves to do her 
duty by administering it ; but the father inter- 
‘poses. «+Come here to father,” says he; 
«¢mother shan’t whip papa’s boy; you aint 
bad, you are father’s good child.”” See how 
clearly this foolish father gives his wife the 
lie, and renders her authority contemptible. 
But when the future history of that child shall 
be written, it will probably be one of rebellion 
and trouble. For God’s sake, parents, for 
the sake of your children, and yourselves, 
don’t play the fool after this sort, but govern 
your children wisely and with united coun- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 65 


sels, ever bearing in mind that divided coun- 
sels, and divided management, are fraught 
with curses to your children, which reach far 
into eternity. 

We shall notice two opposite extremes in 
the management of children which are fre- 
quently found in society. One class are so 
kind, so indulgent, that they cannot bear to 
contradict or grieve theirchildren. They never 
permit them to be crossed for fear of spoiling 
their tempers; they must have every thing 
they wish, and all the servants and older 
people about the house must be subservient 
to them and minister to their whims. If they 
-are sick they must be coaxed and lured to 
take physic; and all this feeding the fire of 
fretfulness is resorted to in order to keep them 
from fretting; pity that we have no more 
sense. But young master grows up with va- 
rying fortunes till he is old enough to be sent 
away from home to school. Already he has 
baffled the skill and rendered abortive the 
discipline of some half a dozen village or old 
field schools, having quarrelled with one and 
another, and another, and his father in every 
instance taking his part, and teaching his son 
that he will never permit any teacher to im- 


o* 


66 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


pose upon him, which, rendered into plain 
English, means that his son is not to be con- 
trolled by any schoolmaster. At length the 
father sees his son growing up rapidly to man- 
hood, ignorant and reckless, and he begins 
to feel some anxiety lest trouble and disgrace 
to both himself and child should come of his 
course of management. Now what shall be 
done ; the manners and tempers of the young 
gentleman have become perfectly unendura- 
ble to father, mother, sister, servants, and 
neighbourhood. «« Alas,” says the father, «TI 
cannot govern him; the time is past, he is 
grown too stout.’’ Yet the lad must be broke 
in; fortunately at this juncture he hears of 
some celebrated school; teacher talented, 
discipline first rate ; «+ just the thing,” says 
he, <«T’ll send my son there; to be sure, its a 
good ways from home ; almost all very supe- 
rior schools are a good ways from home. I 
can’t govern him; but those distant gentle- 
men can do it for me.”’ So the thing is set- 
tled; but now another difficulty has to be 
encountered. Can young master be persuaded 
to go? This is a delicate point to manage. 
The approaches are made gradually and skil- 
fully, and finally, by dint of a great deal of 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 67 


hiring and coaxing, our young hero is made 
willing to go to the distant place of « breaking 
in.’ ..He goes, and for a while the novelty 
of his circumstances, and the force of the new 
influences which operate upon him, keep him 
in check ; but ere long the ruling principles 
begin to work. . He has not heretofore ac- 
knowledged curbor restraint, and cannot now 
long and quietly submit to them. He gets 
into some unlucky scrape; 1s brought up by 
his teacher, and reproved. The father hears 
of it, writes to his son a letter of condolence, 
exhorts him to behave himself well, hopes 
things will go right after a little, thinking it 
_very likely that in some things the teachers 
may have been a little too particular, repeats 
the assurance that he will never see him im- 
posed on, and crowns all by enclosing an 
additional sum of money. ‘Thus cheered, he 
takes encouragement to start afresh in his 
career of folly, and it is not long before his 
rebellion and bad conduct bring about his 
expulsion, and he returns home, having gra- 
duated in less than one term. 

‘And now his father is perfectly astonished ; 
thinks it very strange that this thing should 
have happened; for although his son was a 


68 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


little wild, yet he possessed a good mind,-and 
had many noble traits of character, and if he 
had been properly managed, he would have 
done honour to his family and country: 
something must be wrong in the institution; 
the teachers are incompetent or partial in their 
administration, and henceforth both father and 
son are its sworn foes. Now, just one word 
of expostulation before we leave this father. 
How could you suppose for a moment that 
strangers could manage your son, when you 
had long since proclaimed to the world that 
he was unmanageable ?, If you, his father, had 
not love enough for your child, to govern him, 
how could you suppose that an utter stranger 
would love him more. Old Eli is a pretty 
fair specimen of some fathers who are too 
timid and tender-hearted to control their 
children, or to be respected by them. He 
persuaded his sons, when he ought to have 
compelled, and mildly expostulated when he 
ought to have flogged them; consequently 
they broke his heart. 

Another class of parents undertake to do 
every thing by main force. When you talk 
of discipline, they think of nothing but the 
hickory. They are sternly dignified, so that 


“ 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 69 


their children never approach their presence 
but with awe. Their whole conduct towards 
them is calculated to make them feel afraid. 
Nothing is done because of love to the pa- 
rent: fear, dread, is the spring and principle 
of all obedience. There is no affectionate, 
respectful confidence on the part of the child; 
no seeking the parent’s company, but a care- 
ful avoidance of it. Whenever I see this in 
a family, I take it for granted there is some- 
thing wrong in the heads of department. 
Many children have no doubt been ruined by » 
the foregoing method of stern, unbending 
management. Let such parents hear the 
apostle: « And, ye fathers, provoke not your 
children to wrath: but bring them up in the 
nurture and admonition of the Lord.” At 
the same time that your bearing towards your 
children is such as to command their respect, 
let it be an affectionate respect. You will do 
well occasionally to lay aside your dignity, 
and come down to the level of childhood, 
mingle with them freely in conversation, and 
even in their childish sports. It will be a 
great point gained if you win their enture con- 
fidence, so that they shall make you the depo- 
sitory of the secrets of their bosoms. At all 


70 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


events be sure to govern them, and don’t let 
them govern you. 

The fortunes of life are variously but pow- 
erfully affected by the friendships of child- 
hood; you will need, therefore, to be very 
careful of the associations of your children. 
You cannot be too vigilant at this point. The 
foundations of many a man’s ruin have been 
laid in the associations of his boyhood; and 
as your children cannot be supposed to pos- 
sess sufficient discretion to choose wisely in 
this matter, God devolves this responsibility 
upon the parents; and those who are negli- 
gent here, and permit their children to choose 
their associates indiscriminately, may not be 
surprised if, in despite of all their exhortations, 
and prayers, and tears, they bring anguish 
upon them at the last. The same reasoning 
will apply to a certain extent to your child’s 
course of reading. Books are very influential 
companions, and tell with great emphasis 
upon the weal or wo of men and women. 
Bear this in mind and act accordingly. We 
take it for granted that you will give your 
children education. It is certainly your 
solemn duty to do so as far as your ability 
and their capacity will justify it. Look well 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 71 


to the character of the institution and the 
teachers to whose care you commit the train- 
ing, to a considerable extent, of the mind and 
heart of your child. Some parents love money 
so well that they cannot afford to educate 
their children. ‘They say it costs too much, 
and consequently their children are brought 
up without mental cultivation, and spend a 
comparatively comfortless and inefficient life ; 
or else they live to reproach the paternal par- 
~simony which locked them out from the foun- 
tains of knowledge, in order that it might 
bequeath to them a few pieces more of gold 
and silver.. Or if it is sometimes the case 
that parents seék to educate their children, 
then, in settling as to the institutions to which 
- they send them, the cardinal point looked to 
is the cheapness. Wherever it can be done 
cheapest, that is the very spot, without much 
reference to those sterling qualifications which 
are essential to the character of a good 
governor and instructor of youth. It would 
seem to me of great importance that the 
teacher of your children should not only pos- 
sess the proper literary and scientific attain- 
ments, but his religious character is also of 


He FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


considerable consequence. Nor are his re< 
ligious opinions unimportant. 

The prosperity of the church is largely 
identified with the education and control of 
her children ; hence I believe that the church 
should make ample provision for educating 
her sons and daughters; and this she must do, 
or she is certainly false to the high trust com- 
‘mitted to her by the chief Shepherd. To 
accomplish this, the wisdom, the energy, and 
the perseverance of the clergy, from the 
highest to the lowest, must be in constant 
requisition. But the,clergy cannot act alone 
in this matter; the people are more deeply 
interested in the success of this thing than 
the clergy, and it behoves them to come up 
to this work fervently, zealously, persever- 
ingly, and liberally ; and not only to use all 
proper means that suitable institutions of 
learning be provided, but also to send their 
children to those nurseries of science thus 
established by the church for this important 
purpose. Our church has for several years 
past been paying some attention to this great 
work; and institutions, to a respectable ex- 
tent, have been provided; and yet, as a de- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 7h>, 


nomination, we are not halfawake. At every 
step the love of money interferes with our 
progress; none of our institutions endowed ; 
all of them needing aid for the procurement 
of the necessary books for libraries, and the 
apparatus necessary for full and thorough 
illustration. The most of our faculties are 
thrown upon the precarious product of tuition 
fees, which might answer, if our people would - 
patronise us in this department; but even in 
this matter we are often disappointed, and the 
children of our flocks, on whom, under God, 
the future existence of the church must de- 
pend, are sent to be trained under other in- 
fluences, sometimes skeptical, and sometimes 
because it costs less. Protestant children, 
by scores, crowd to the halls of catholic in- 
stitutions, where they issue forth in due time, 
having learned to regard their parents as 
heretics, who are not within the pale of salva- 
tion. We exhort you, therefore, as Metho- 
dists, not only to educate your children as 
well as you can, but let that training, when- 
ever it is practicable, be conducted under the 
auspices of the church of your choice; and I 
urge this upon you, because I have taken it 
for granted that you are honest in your reli- 
7 


74. FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


gious preferences and professions, and conse- 
quently that you wish your children to love 
and embrace the same opinions and practices. 
If, however, in this we have done you in- 
justice and misjudged of your motives and 
character, we ask pardon, and dismiss you 
without any further notice, except to say that 
you will at least see to it, that your sons and 
daughters are brought up under sound and 
decided Protestant influences. ‘To this point 
the far-seeing wisdom of the Papal church 
directs its principal attention in this country; 
knowing that if it can control the educational 
destinies of the rising generation, it will find 
no difficulty in directing, ultimately, the 
‘destinies of the country, both politically and 
ecclesiastically. Here lies the danger of 
Papal ascendency, and that danger may be 
more real and imminent than most of us are 
aware of. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 715 


CHAPTER VII. 


EDUCATION OF SONS. 


WE have a few special remarks to make on 
the subject of educating boys. There is a 
practice of starting little fellows to school at 
five or six years of age, and keeping them 
steadily at it till they graduate. We regard 
this an injudicious course, so far as it is to 
affect the child physically or mentally. If he 
is studious at this early age, his constitution 
is necessarily impaired, and his pale counte- 
nance gives proof that the seeds of death are 
sown prematurely in his outer man. I doubt 
the propriety of sending a little boy to school 
before he is seven or eight years old. Let 
his mother and father, or his sisters, teach 
him to spell and read at home. This may 
be done by a little attention, without taxing 
the boy with too much confinement. Let 
him meanwhile run about in the sun, or on 
the snow or frost, or in the rain occasionally ; 
and do not let the mother be alarmed if the 


76 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


little darling comes home at night pretty well 
spattered with mud, or covered with dirt, 
from wading in the branch, or rolling in the 
sand. And now his day’s work is done, 
and he will keep awake long enough for the 
necessary cleansing process; and then be 
sure to refuse him the comfort of even a soft 
mattrass, but just furnish him with a blanket 
or a bedquilt, and he will find many a plank 
in the floor soft enough to afford him a com- 
fortable bed on which he will sleep soundly 
till morning calls him forth again to healthful 
play. Not afew parénts murder their chil- 
dren by their extreme carefulness to protect 
‘them from all exposure to disease. They 
fear to let little master go into the hot sun- 
shine, for fear he will get a fever; and he 
must by no means wet his feet, for fear of 
catching cold; and then the mother is all the 
while in a sort of purgatory, for fear he will 
eat apples, or plums, or peaches, or water- 
melons, and get sick, and die. Now, it is 
my sober and deliberate judgment that this is 
all worse than folly. Your child requires the 
benefit of sunshine and open air, and I think 
an occasional shower likewise, just as much 
as the plants in your garden. Let him have 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 77 


them freely, and fear no bad consequences. 
I love to see a little boy full of life and frolic, 
ready to bound away like the fawn over hill 
and dale; nor do I object to a little mischief 
in his composition, provided it issues in 
nothing wicked. So long as his childish 
pranks have nothing sinful, or cruel, or ill- 
natured in them, they do not interrupt me: 
and as to this matter of eating fruit, about 
which some prudent parents make such an 
ado, it is allunnecessary. God has provided 
the various fruits of the earth for our health and 
comfort, and has wisely adjusted their matu- 
rity to those seasons of the year when they 
will not only not injure us, but will be greatly 
promotive of our health ; only let our children 
not use them before they are ripe; and then, 
in proper quantities, they may be taken with 
perfect safety and decided advantage. I 
have often noticed that children, deprived of 
this indulgence, are apt to be sickly, puny, 
dyspeptic creatures; while the hardy little 
urchin who climbs the tree to gather the ripe 
fruit, and then devours it at his own discre- 
tion, rarely experiences any resulting evil. » 
We beg pardon of the doctors for thus un- 
ceremoniously obtruding ourselves into what 


d 


78 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


may be considered as falling properly within 
their more immediate and appropriate pro- 
vince. Our remarks are the result of a pretty 
extensive and long continued course of ob- 
servation, and our readers may take them for 
whatever they are worth. 

But, to carry out a little more in detail our 
notions on the best method of educating 
boys. We believe that at about seven or 
eight years of age the lad should be sent to 
school, and should be kept at it till he is old 
enough to plough ; by that time learning will 
be getting to be rather a heavy, dull business, 
pursued without interest, and only pursued at 
all, probably from motives of fear. Then take 
him and put him to work on the farm for two 
or three years, let him handle the plough or 
the hoe, or do any other business required to 
be done on the plantation, to which his physi- 
cal strength is adequate; only see that he is 
kept steadily at business, and is not permitted 
to be idle or trifling because he is young mas- 
ter; by this process you will have given 
strength and development to his physical con- 
stitution—you will have given him habits of 
business, and a knowledge of it, which he can 
turn to good account in any avocation to 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 79 


which he may apply himself in future time. 
And it is probable, too, that he will turn 
to his studies with an interest and a gust 
hitherto unfelt by him, and will learn more in 
one year than he would otherwise have done 
in two or three. To this course I know there 
is one objection, which is often considered 
conclusive by Southern planters: it is that 
they cannot reside on their plantations with- 
out boarding their children out to send them 
to school; hence they most commonly reside 
with their families in towns or villages, and 
their farms are frequently remote, so that they 
cannot send their sons home to work without 
injuring their manners by such immediate 
contact with the negroes. ‘To this we answer, 
it might be well worth the expense for you 
to have a small farm nearer to your residence, 
whose soil it would do good to your sons to 
turn over, where they would be almost daily 
under your observation. In fact, the most of 
our wealthy planters have these provision- 
farms contiguous to’their places of residence, 
so that they would be easily accomplished. 
And permit us to say still further, that if your 
boy is thrown upon the plantation with the 
overseer and negroes, and the overseer be a 


80 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


man of such prudence and morals as a Chris- 
tain master might with a good conscience put 
in charge of his slaves and plantation, it is 
very questionable whether young master 
will be nearly as much damaged in heart 
or manners as has been feared. It is not 
impossible that the injury would scarcely 
equal that derived from the associations 
of a large college, and a thriving com- 
mercial town. At any rate he would not 
probably make as great proficiency in the 
accomplishments of drinking gin-sling, or 
playing cards or billiards, as he would be apt 
to do in association with a hundred young 
men gathered from all classes and from all 
portions of the state. We recommend this 
subject to the serious consideration of parents 
who have sons to educate. Many boys are 
sent to school at six years of age, and they 
are kept at it all the while. It is school, 
school, all the time. ‘The boy loses all relish 
for study: he does not love it, for he has not 
as yet learned to appreciate the value or im- 
portance of education: he is consequently 
negligent as to his studies, and as books are 
repudiated, mischief must be invoked to fill 
the vacuum. Father, teacher, and all con- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 81 


cerned decide that he is learning nothing; 
but still, for his own credit and that of the 
family, he must retain his place as a student, 
and, by dint of managing, cramming, and the 
proper quantum of indulgence, and a slight 
sprinkle of favoritism on the part of his 
teachers, he passes through college, his name 
standing on the list of «+ excused’? among the 
orators of the occasion, and when the testi- 
monial from the President is handed him, it 
might be truly said that there was more on 
the sheepskin than had ever been in the head 
of the student. With this less than half 
training he is thrust out upon society, and 
has to take rank as an educated man; and 
_ if his imperfect scholarship were all, it would 
not be quite so bad. But along with this 
deficiency there are habits of indolence which 
render his future prospects of usefulness and 
distinction exceedingly unpromising, to say 
nothing of the habits of vice and dissipation 
to which his earlier antipathy to study may 
have led him. Now it is, we think, very 
probable that the timely application of a few 
years’ labour at the handles of the plough or 
the hoe would have exerted a decided and 
quickening influence upon the laggard genius 


82 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


of our young friend, and if nothing more had 
been gained by the process, he would at least 
have acquired some knowledge of the theory 
and practice of making an honest living by 
his own industry ; or perhaps himself and all 
concerned would have discovered that the 
cornfield or the workshop were much more 
appropriate both to his genius and his taste 
than academic shades or halls of science; and 
it occurs to me, by the way, that in a thousand 
instances the world would have been greatly 
benefited by this discovery. 

But our hero has finished his collegiate 
course, the graduating scene is past, the de- 
grees have been conferred, and his name, 
enlarged by the addition of two mystic letters, 
is already given to immortality; but now an 
important question has to be settled—what 
are to be the young gentleman’s future pur- 
suits? Shall he go forth and engage in the 
work of teaching? or shall he engage in agri- 
cultural pursuits? or shall he give his atten- 
tion to mechanical or mercantile pursuits ? 
‘These various points are examined and 
dismissed in a very summary way. Teach- 
ing is a respectable employment enough, but 
then it is extremely irksome and dull to 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 83 


confine oneself to the routine of the school- 
room, to be obliged to whip, and cuff, and 
coax learning into some dozen or two of 
clod-headed boys, none of whom promise tc 
rise to any distinction; and then this thing 
of being only an old field schoolmaster— 
there is nothing large or high-sounding in the 
title, so it won’t do—that’s settled.. Mecha- 
cal pursuits are scarcely eligible for young 
men of good families and genteel training. 
As to agriculture, that’s well enough, when a 
man is able to conduct it on a large scale; 
and it may answer too as an old-age recrea- 
tion for one who is sick of business, and 
surfeited with the honours of the world; but 
. for 4 young man of genius and education to 
commence his career, and tax his resources 
of mind and body and time to compel the 
earth to yield him wealth and respectability, 
is not to be thought of. Oh! no: the road 
to distinction lies through the learned pro- 
fessions—law or physic; one must be studied. 
Law is the most usual road to political dis- 
tinction; and the title of Dr. has something 
very respectable and pleasant in its jingle ; 
and then these pursuits are very appropriate 
to educated men; so the matter is settled, 


84 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


and both father and son concur in the deci- 
sion. We will suppose our young friend 
decides for the study of the law. : For this 
there are two or three strong reasons; Ist, 
Most of our distinguished politicians and 
statesmen are lawyers, and it is therefore fair 
to infer that the road to distinction lies in that 
direction. 2d, A few months’ study, and a 
moderate quantum of knowledge, will enable 
him to pass the examination, and gain admis- 
sion to the bar; and forthwith his shingle 
hangs out in some country-town or cross- 
roads village, as attorney at law. Being 
properly qualified and duly authorized, he 
can, of course, indulge no lingering doubt 
of success; and accordingly his future is 
filled with visions of glory and wealth. But, 
unfortunately, the people do not concur with 
him in opinion; they choose to confide their 
moneyed interests to men of more experience 
and more decided talent. He makes the 
necessary flourish in the newspapers, and 
duly presents himself at all the courts of the 
circuit ; he takes his station regularly with his 
brethren of the green bag, and at the end of 
the first two years, save a few cases picked 
up at the magistrates’ courts, his fees are 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 85 


nameless; nor has any opportunity been 
afforded him for the display of his legal 
knowledge, except as he has volunteered in 
behalf of some poor wretch who was unable 
to pay for legal services. In the mean time 
his board, office-rent, and travelling expenses 
must be paid. His father has given him all 
he can afford him, and he is compelled (sad 
alternative) to depend upon himself. But 
what can he do? He is a gentleman, and a 
lawyer, and must dress, and look, and live, 
and travel in a manner becoming his rank. 
He is ready for practice, but nobody will 
employ him; consequently, if he don’t make 
an honest living by his practice, he is not to 
blame, but. the public. For a while he can 
make shift to pay his tavern bills, by borrow- 
ing from his professional brethren, who out 
of pity lend him small sums, which they don’t 
dream will ever be paid; but this resource 
is too precarious, and his credit having be- 
come threadbare with merchants and tailors, 
some new scheme must be devised for raising 
the wind. Gambling is resorted to as a gen- 
teel method of living without labour—drunk- 
enness very naturally attaches itself—and 
bankruptcy, murder, and the gallows, very 


86 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


often wind up the history of one, who, as a 
mechanic or a farmer, might have been a 
prosperous, useful, and happy man, a wealthy 
and honourable citizen, a good Christian, and 
a blessing to church and state. Now, if 
young men, after an unsuccessful effort at 
law or physic, would have firmness and de- 
cision of character sufficient to break away 
from their false notions of what is gentleman- 
ly and honourable, and throw themselves into 
the arena of vigorous and stirring competition 
with farmers or mechanics in any department 
of honest industry, there would be more hope 
for the country. And there is a number 
who act thus; but it is to be feared the num- 
ber is comparatively small: the most of those 
who commence with the learned professions 
esteem it dishonourable to retrograde; and 
pursue, with dogged recklessness, their path 
to honourable distinction, till their course issues 
in beggary and infamy. We regard it a sub- 
ject of deep regret that this overweening 
fondness for the learned professions should 
be so prevalent among both fathers and sons 
in this country; amd that, consequently, so 
few of our educated young men can conde- 
scend to be any thing but doctors or lawyers, 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 87 


and that agriculture and its kindred arts and 
employments are deprived of the aid and 
light which a well-cultivated intellect and 
profound science might bring to it.. The 
fact is, we have great need of hundreds of 
well-educated and enterprising agriculturists 
and schoolmasters, while of lawyers and 
physicians the supply trebles the demand. 
We pray you, old men and young ones, to 
take this matter into consideration, and select 
your avocation in view of an honourable 
competency and correspondent usefulness. 


88 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER VIII. 
EDUCATION OF DAUGHTERS. 


Ir it be practicable, educate your daughters 
under your own eye; for, however good the 
institution to which you may send them, and 
however wise and prudent the governess of 
such an institution may be, yet if the mother be 
the right sort of a woman, there are none who 
will feel the same interest, or who will watch 
so carefully, or counsel so prudently, or in- 
fluentially, as she. Where, however, circum- 
stances do not permit this, I would again most 
earnestly urge a special and prayerful scrutiny 
as to the character of teachers and school. 
Young females are peculiarly exposed to in- 
jurious and fatal influences where a proper 
guard is not thrown around them; and this 
is especially the case if they have wealth in 
prospect. But now another question presents 
itself of no ordinary moment ; what is meant 
by the term, a good education, when applied 
to daughters? If you will only pick up a 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 89 


newspaper containing the annual announce- 
ment of one of our fashionable boarding- 
schools, you may find an answer to your 
question spread over almost half a newspaper 
column, commencing with orthography, and 
winding up with French, Spanish, Italian, 
and music on the piano, guitar, harp, and I 
don’t know what else besides ; including also 
ornamental needle-work, drawing and paint- 
ing; as also lessons given in shell and wax- 
work. Well, here we take it as a range suf- 
ficiently ample to satisfy our most enlarged 
desires ; and as every parent who is able to 
give his daughter a firstrate education, or 
who wishes it believed that he has done so, 
will seek for the best advantages for his child, 
that she may come forth an accomplished 
lady, it is fair to infer that all the foregoing 
course, or, at least, the greater portion of it, 
must be embraced. 

Let us see. Here is reading, writing, 
arithmetic: I beg pardon if I have gone too 
far back; I believe the modern plan is to 
start at natural science and render mathema- 
tics pleasant by a tune on the piano. Very 
well, rather than be thought antiquated in our 

8* 


: P 


90 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


notions, we’ll start at natural science. A 
young lady sets out in her academic, or col- 
legiate course at this point, and she must stud 

chemistry, and optics, and acoustics, and hy- 
draulics, and hydrostatics, and mineralogy, 
and botany, and astronomy, and physiology, 
and algebra, and mathematics, and grammar, 
and rhetoric, and logic, and geography, and 
twenty other things besides ; and all this too 
before she leaves the range of common English 
studies. But then it were vulgar to stop 
there; or else perchance she would not be 
wiser than her mother; so she must launch 
out into the sea of French, or Spanish, or 
Italian gibberish, which neither she nor any 
body about her will understand when she has 
finished. One question at this point; how 
long will it take a young lady, starting at 
twelve years of age, to acquire a competent 
knowledge of what is really valuable in the 
English course above noticed? However, 
she can in less time have the technology of 
these sciences, and that may, perhaps, answer 
the wishes of herself and friends. But young 
‘Miss is a fine genius and learns rapidly ; she 
drives with eagle-swiftness over these fields 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 91 


of science, and absolutely finds it necessary 
to take up some other study to keep her em- 

oyed: so says her teacher, and what parent 
ever called in question the teacher’s opinion 
when it was complimentary to a beloved child. 

Let us suppose that our young friend goes 
through the whole course, and comes home 
thoroughly accomplished. She is fully at 
home in all matters of science and literature ; 
in French she can bid you good morning, and 
go through, at least, the greater portion of the 
usual round of compliments ; and her French 
reading has been also somewhat extensive, 
embracing the Phrase-book, Telemachus, and 
a book of fables; and this, by the way, is as 
- far, probably, as she will ever have occasion 
to use the French. In Spanish her course of 
reading has not been so extensive ; and as to 
Italian, she actually attempts a song or two 
in that voluptuous language ; (unluckily she 
has not studied Dutch.) She also paints 
beautifully, and plays and sings most delight- 
fully. Well, taking for granted that every 
thing was straight in this department, I once 
asked a very pleasant and interesting girl to 
play a piece of sacred music for me; to my 


92 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


surprise she had never played it : and another, 
and another piece was as utterly unknown ; 
and finally, to prevent any further disappoint- 
ment, my young friend told me that in the 
Institution of which she was a pupil, they did 
not teach sacred music; and yet this was un- 
derstood to be a strictly religious institution, 
and was under the direction of a clergyman ; 
and this case is only a sample of many which 
are constantly occurring. Christian parents 
send their Christian daughters to Christian in- 
stitutions, taught by Christian ministers ; and 
when hundreds have been expended on their 
musical education, ask one of them to play 
you one of the songs of Zion, and you will 
soon discover that this thing of praising God 
with the fingers was not introduced into the 
course of instruction at the Female In- 
stitute. If, however, you want some senti- 
mental and elegant composition, such as 
«¢Old Dan Tucker,”’ or «« Lucy Long,”’ why 
then their fingers and their voices are quite at 
home. 

_ Well, our young friend comes home, and 
makes her debut in the fashionable world, and 
for a while she glitters as a brilliant star; but 





FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 93 


soon her days of show are over. She marries 
and enters upon the sober realities of domes- 
tic life. New duties occupy her thoughts. 
Many, very many things of which she had 
never before formed the slightest conception, 
force themselves upon her attention. Her 
husband’s interest and comfort have to be 
consulted. Her servants must be regulated, 
and clothed ; and after a while there is music 
from the crib or cradle so overwhelming and 
absorbing in its interest, that, alas, that five 
hundred dollars piano stands for months in 
the parlour as silent as though it possessed no 
voice for song. Ask her to play, and she 
tells you that her days of tune are over; and 
the instrument must be kept for her eldest 
daughter to practise on. Or we will suppose 
that she is a devotee to music, and every day 
spends hours under the influence of its de- 
lightful witchery; what then becomes of 
household matters. Her servants need cloth- 
ing; nakedness is coming on them apace ; 
her husband’s garments, too, need improve- 
ment, and her own and her children’s ap- 
pearance indicates that the genius of song, at 
least, in this instance, maintains but a sorry 


94 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


uniform. Now, although a man may begin 
housekeeping with a good deal of poetry and 
song in his composition, yet he finds after a 
while that a German waltz or a Russian 
march don’t mend his coat nor darn his stock- 
ings, nor keep his house in order ; nor is ita 
very substantial business to dine or sup upon 
tune. Ifyou say there is a happy medium be- 
tween the two extremes, I grant it; but how 
many ladies of your acquaintance have disco- 
veredit? Perhaps one young lady in a hundred 
possesses a talent for music, and may attain 
to some eminence in the world of song; the 
remaining ninety-nine will never attain to any 
distinction beyond that of mere drummers. 
It will be perceived from the above remarks 
that we are not enthusiastic admirers of the 
system of musical instruction which prevails 
in our female schools. We are not enemies 
to instrumental music ; we don’t believe it to 
be necessarily sinful; we can perceive no 
reason why one may not praise God with his 
fingers as well as his lips; yet it is not gene- 
rally thus consecrated in the present system ° 
of fashionable female education. ‘There is, 
comparatively, but little of the fashionable 
music adapted to the piano which properly 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 95 


recognises God, or elevates the soul to spi- 
ritual communion with him; while much of 
it is calculated not merely to fill the mind 
with froth and nonsense, but with sentiments, 
images, and allusions which can scarcely fail 
to injure and corrupt the purity of a guileless 
and susceptible girl: and a large portion of 
that which is called sacred music, imbodies 
opinions and feelings which are not the most 
desirable for good Protestants. To sum up 
all in a few words, we believe it to be the 
most costly as to time and money, and the 
most unprofitable of all the accomplishments 
with which we adorn our daughters. | 
We should regard a young lady well edu- 
_ cated who had made good proficiency in the 
literary and scientific course usually pointed 
out, so far as she can learn it in English: let 
her be a good, sound, common-sense English 
scholar; one who understands the genius 
and philosophy of her own mother tongue ; 
who reads it well, and writes it forcibly and 
with elegance; one who loves to study the 
+works of God and is at home amid the 
mysteries of natural science, and is prepared 
to turn their discoveries to practical account; 
who amidst all the rest of her learning is able 


96 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


to use skilfully both the scissors and the 
needle; and who has consequently but little 
use for milliners or mantua-makers. There 
may be, for aught I know, some cases in 
which it might be very desirable for young 
ladies in our country to study the French, 
Spanish, and Italian languages. In all such 
cases permit us to recommend the Cherokee 
and Choctaw languages as being of great 
consequence in view of the future improve- 
ment of society. 

A few words more in reference to your 
daughters, and we leave this part of the sub- 
ject. Let me ask you, parents, for what 
purpose you are bringing up your daughters? 
Do you desire to train them up simply for 
show and parade? Do you wish them simply 
to dance well, dress finely, and be admired 
and flattered by men of empty heads and 
vicious hearts, without any reference to use- 
fulness here, and the loftier hopes of heaven 
hereafter? Or do you wish that your daugh- 
ter should be prepared to fill properly and 
usefully her station as child, sister, wife, and 
mother, and mistress here, and then to dwell 
with God on high, where neither death nor 
sickness shall ever come? I pray you answer 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 97 


these questions seriously in the light of eter- 
nity, and then go and act accordingly. 
Taking it for granted that you will answer 
these questions properly, permit us to direct 
your attention earnestly and at some length 
to numerous responsibilities with reference 
especially to your daughters. 

The extent and power of woman’s influ- 
ence for good or for evil can scarcely, be 
overrated. Her’s is the first influence acting 
upon us—the earliest smile of infancy is 
awakened by her look and her voice. Our 
first throb of affection is for her. Her bosom 
affords not only life’s earliest nutriment, but 
‘it is also our softest, sweetest, and most se- 
_rene resting-place amid the sorrows and fret- 
tings of early childhood’s days. Her voice 
is the sweet but potent instrument which first 
awakens in the infant heart the energy of 
thought and reason; and her lips and her 
looks give thought and reason their first di- 
rection to that heaven which should be their 
ultimate and glorious resting-place. Who 
among us that is a brother hath forgotten the 
sweet and saving influence of a sister’s love, 
as it twined itself around our hearts in child- 
hood’s. happy hours, checking our wayward- 

9 


98 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


ness and sweetly attempering by its bearing 
and gentleness the roughness and rashness of 
our fiery spirits; gently calling us back from 
the path of evil and winning us with all the 
blandishments of a sister’s love to the paths 
of peace and purity and safety. And who 
that hath been an attentive observer on life’s 
busy theatre, has not often marked the influ- 
ence of a pure and lovely daughter upon the 
nature and conduct of a father, even although 
he may have been stern and rugged and 
reckless and devilish. Ay, how often have 
we seen him through this instrumentality 
brought to the Saviour’s feet, when every 
other influence had failed to affect him. 
And then, when first we went forth in man- 
hood’s early strength, conscious of power and 
boastful of independence, what strange, what 
mysterious power was that which ere long 
held us captive, and, separating us from the 
world of dissipation and parade, hath caused 
us, as if by magic, to fall in love with labour, 
and care, and comparative seclusion from 
our fellows, and be content with the society 
of one, and live mainly for that one, and 
think it reward enough for all our self-denials 
and labours if that one shall love us and 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 99 


speak affectionately to us, and smile on us 
without a cloud ; and straightway we talk of 
Paradise and Eden, and sing of home, sweet, 
sweet home: can you tell me by whgse influ- 
ence all this is brought about? Aifd yet our 
chapter is not half exhausted, although the 
fear of tiring our friends admonishes us to 
cease. We shall, therefore, only say further 
on this point, that the influence of woman 
commences with our earliest glance upon this 
beautiful world, and clusters around us to the 
hour when dissolving humanity breathes its 
last sigh ; and let it be remembered that this 
all-potent influence is almost irresistible for 
good or for evil, only as it shall be directed 
and controlled by the Spirit of God, or the 
spirit of the evil one,—the infallible and holy 
word of God, or the ever-varying, corrupt 
and corrupting maxims of a world, selfish, 
impure and hypocritical, as the prince of the 
power of the air who gives it law. 

And, now, Christian parents, let me most 
affectionately implore you to look this matter 
soberly, calmly, and honestly in the face ; 
look upon your children, and remember how 
far-reaching are your responsibilities for them, 
each and every one of them: look on your 


100 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


daughters, and think of the part they are com- 
pelled to act in the fearful or glorious results 
of this world’s history. Ask yourself what 
kind of education will best prepare them for 
filling, profitably and usefully to themselves 
and all concerned, the various stations to 
which in the providence of God they may be 
called; and act accordingly, whether the 
world praise or condemn. 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 101 


CHAPTER IX. 
EDUCATION OF DAUGHTERS. 


WE have already dwelt at some length on 
the important position of women in society, 
and her almost unlimited influence, for good 
or for evil, upon the destinies of the world; 
and we still linger at this point, mainly in 
view of turning the attention of Christian pa- 
rents to a thoughtful and sober examination 
as to what is the best method of educating 
their daughters, in view of the relations they 
~ will probably have to sustain in coming time. 
Of course we regard their proper Christian 
instruction as claiming our first and highest 
regard. The grand, the comprehensive prin- 
ciple of St. Paul must be at the foundation, 
and give tone and direction to all the rest of 
our instruction; «for none of us liveth to 
himself, and no man dieth to himself; for 
whether we live we live unto the Lord, and 
whether we die we die unto the Lord; 
whether we live, therefore, or die, we are the 

Q* 


102 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


Lord’s.”” Make these great truths your land- 
marks, and you will scarcely fail. Now it 
seems to us that young ladies are usually edu- 
cated under auspices directly opposite, 
although professedly Christian. The earliest 
teachings of maternal love tend to foster the 
love of show and parade, and to swell with 
pride. and self-importance a heart naturally 
proud, which needed no prompting to urge 
it to self-idolatry. Everything is urged upon 
the youthful and susceptible girl in the hght 
of self-glorification. She is taught to dress, 
that she may be admired ; and all the graces 
of manner and person are urged upon her 
with the most untiring assiduity; and the 
motive proposed is uniformly the same—that 
she may win admiration. For this purpose 
she goes into company; and to accomplish 
this all-important end, every muscle, and ten- 
don, and nerve are subjected to an artificial 
’ discipline, the whole design and tendency of 
which is to destroy that simplicity and sin- 
cerity of manner and character which is so 
lovely in woman, and substitute in its stead 
affectation of manner, and heartlessness, and 
insincerity of character, hateful in all, but 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 103 


most loathsome when it marks the conduct of 
woman, ‘The holy law of truth and love is 
forgotten, and the young lady issues forth 
from the paternal mansion to play her part, 
and develope the true character of her home 
education, in the busy whirl of society. She 
sets her compass, and trims her sails, for one 
point. One all-absorbing subject employs 
her thoughts by day and by night. Only let 
her be the admired of every company; let 
obsequious crowds of the other sex pay their 
devotions at her shrine; let them praise her 
beauty, (for is she not beautiful, and have not 
her eyes often lingered long upon these charms 
at the mirror?) Let them praise her wit, her 
taste, in manner and in dress, or in the selec- 
tion of associates, or the skill with which she 
sweeps the keys of the instrument from which 
she has called forth the overwhelming concord 
of sweet sounds; these are the topics which 
delight, especiaily if the dish of gossip be 
spiced with a little slander, a little invidious 
comparison between her and her sister candi- 
dates for exclusive worship: and then, who 
can tell the amount of envy, and heart-burn- 
ing, and evil-speaking, which spring up along 


o£ 


104 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


the pathway of such an one: what room is 
there in such a heart for God? What time 
has such an one for prayer, or Bible-reading, 
or visiting the sick, or poor? Alas! these 
things would be deemed unsuitable accom- 
paniments to such places, employments, or 
companionship, as these self-idolaters desire ; 
for the Bible whispers no words of flattery, 
nor does the Holy Ghost dwell with, or whis- 
per of peace, and joy, and heaven, to those 
who swim in the dance, and grow wild with 
the revelry and song of the ball-room. 

There are not a few mothers, even among 
those who call themselves by the name of 
Christ, and kneel at God’s altar, and receive 
from the hands of God’s ministers the sym- 
bols of the body and blood of the crucified 
One that bought them on the cross, and who 
would be greatly scandalized if their claim to 
orthodoxy or piety were even in the slightest 
measure called in question, who nevertheless 
regard the dancing-school and the ball-room 
as necessary appendages to the training and 
conduct of their daughters. See, if you 
please, that Christian mother who was yester- 
day at the house of God, and even approached 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 105 


the table of the Lord, and when the pastor 
prayed, «Lead us not into temptation,” re- 
sponded « Amen!” And now ’tis Monday 
evening, and she has been busy all the live- 
long day; and as, evening approaches, her 
anxieties increase, until, at length, her work 
is done; and forth from her chamber comes 
the object of all this labour and solicitude. 
The Christian mother’s only daughter is be- 
fore you, decked in pearls and jewels, and as 
fine as dress and art’ can make her. For 
weeks the mother and daughter have been 
looking forward to this night with the deepest 
anxiety. No pains, no expense, have been 
spared. And now the mother gazes upon 
_ the beautiful child with a self-complacent air, 
and says, in the vanity of her heart, that ball- 
room will contain no form more graceful than 
her’s; and none will be more admired than 
she. And then the mother follows her to the 
door, and after giving her one more charge 
as to looks and manner, resigns her child to 
the chances of a crowded ball-room, with all 
its attendant associations and temptations. 
Follow this mother to her chamber; she is 
alone, and it is the hour for prayer, and con- 


106 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


science calls her to the performance. of that 
sacred duty; but can she attempt it? Can 
she call upon the Most High to protect her 
child? Is there not a voice of stern rebuke 
within her, which says, how canst thou dare 
approach the presence of the pure and all- 
seeing One, when thou hast just sent forth 
thy choicest lamb, decked and garlanded’ as 
a victim for the altar at the devil’s great sac- 
rifice? Alas! for this heartless mother and 
her devoted child. Attendance on the thea- 
tre follows as a necessary preparation for her 
in the proper circles, and a thorough devo- 
tion to balls, assemblies, and fashionable par- 
ties, marks her as a young lady of elegant 
accomplishments—a glittering star in the 
galaxy of fashion. But what has been gained 
in all this time on the score of health, or 
mind, or soul, or conscience, or purse? She 
has learned to prattle simpering nonsense, to 
enter a room with artificial grace, to be an 
artificial creature all the while she remains in 
company, to play the hypocrite in her inter- 
course with others, and to be the dupe of like 
practices on the part of her associates. She 
has learned to utter slander with a peculiar 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 107 


grace, and her heart has received the seeds 
of envy, and malignity, and revenge, which 
often’ produce in coming time a rank and 
luxuriant crop of evil. 

One other accomplishment is also often ac- 
quired in this: school—the talent for spending 
money with a most lady-like profusion and 
recklessness. Self must be beautified and 
glorified at any cost, and many a bankrupt 
father may find the causes of his ruin and 
beggary in the criminal selfishness and ex- 
travagant habits of such a daughter; and not 
a few husbands, who have wrecked fortune, 
and character, and hope, in the morning of 
life’s voyage, owe it all to an ill-fated co- 
partnership with a wife thus trained. How 
much more wisely would mothers act if there 
were blended with the education of their 
daughters a little more practical instruction 
in the duties of domestic life; believe me it 
would be no subtraction from the elegance or 
taste of your daughter, should she be her own 
milliner or mantua-maker ; nor would people 
of good: sense and taste esteem her a whit the 
more vulgar, because her father and brothers 
happen to exhibit in their garments proofs of 


108 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


her neatness and skill as a seamstress, or be- 
cause her father’s hospitable table afforded 
to his guests abundant practical proof of the 
skill and industry of both mother and .daugh- 
ters. Happy the daughters whose parents 
have good sense and firmness enough to train 
them thus. It'has often occurred to me that 
it might be a most desirable regulation which 
should prohibit the marriage of young women 
until they shall have acquired the necessary 
skill in managing matters connected with 
dairy, and pantry, and kitchen, and also of 
the scissors and needlé, so far as clothing 
for herself and husband and servants may be 
concerned. But as the ladies protest in the 
name of the tailors against making their hus- 
band’s coats, we consent to omit this from 
the list, but would most earnestly insist that 
they should be prepared for every other arti- 
cle of the wardrobe. I know it is said, that 
if a woman has the disposition, she will ac- 
quire, after marriage, the necessary knowledge 
of domestic matters. This may be true with- 
out at all affecting the propriety of the views 
above taken; because, it is very likely that 
the previous habits of such ladies will prevent 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 109 


two-thirds of them from having the disposi- 
tion ; and second, there is certainly neither 
wisdom nor kindness in taxing one who has 
the disposition with the task of learning at the 
expense of a large expenditure of time and 
mortification, what might have been acquired 
so readily, easily, and pleasantly, under the 
influence of maternal example and instruction ; 
and especially, when it is remembered that 
a large portion of the learning of her former 
years had infinitely better have remained un- 
learned. “ 

A few more remarks on this point, and we 
dismissit. Christian mothers, train your daugh- 
ter for the God who made her and redeemed 
her, and for that heaven where the pure in 
heart see God, and dwell in his presence. 
Let her be thy companion when thou visitest 
the sick and poor; and make her frequently 
the almoner of thy charities to them. Interest 
her in the great benevolent purposes of the 
gospel ; and when thou goest to thy chamber 
to commune in secret with thy God, let her 
be often thy companion. Oh! I remember 
when the Christian mothers of the country 
were wont often to take their little ones with 

10 


110 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


them to the devotions of the closet ; and even 
now I sometimes see, in families which I 
visit, signs which I well understand. I see 
that mother, as the evening approaches, grow 
thoughtful, and soon she leaves the room fol- 
lowed by the little ones of her flock. I heard 
the door of the chamber closed, and all was 
silent; but after a brief space, that meek and ~ 
prayerful mother was again in her place ; her 
countenance bore the impress of God, for she 
had just been communing with him, and the 
cheeks of these little ones were still wet with 
a tear; for that mother had just been talking 
with these little lambs of the good Shepherd, 
and wrestling earnestly at the mercy-seat for 
them. And oh, how precious is the influence 
of this example upon the hearts of children. 
Would that Christian parents practised it more 
generally ; it should be greatly better both for 
them and their children. And now; just let 
me ask you, Christian mother, how much 
more glorious and angel-like will be the cha- 
racter of your child, as she kneels at the altar 
of God, or patiently teaches a class at Sun- 
day-school, or visits the aged and sick in the 
darkness and desolation of their poverty, and 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. lil 


feeds the hungry and clothes the naked, and 
educates the uncared-for orphan, and makes 
the heart of the widow to sing for joy, and 
gives all the energies of time, and influence, 
and purse to promote the glory of God, and 
the happiness of man, than if she were the 
brighest star in the world of fashion, devoting 
her days and nights, and expending the 
energies of head, and heart, and time, and 
influence, and money, in pursuit of fashion’s 
gay, and heartless, and lying rewards? On 
which side lies the advantage, even here: 
But when our vision passes the boundary of 
earth, and sweeps far into eternity, and we 
stand before the throne of the Eternal, and 
gaze on the whole scene in the light of eter- 
nity, oh, how infinitely does the glory of the 
one excel the other! 


112 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER X. 


PARENTAL SOLICITUDE FOR THE SALVATION 
OF CHILDREN. 


We have endeavoured in the remarks 
already made to direct the attention of 
parents to a variety of suggestions which 
we deemed of some importance to the proper 
training and well-being of children in view 
of both their interests here and in the world 
to come. We would in this chapter most 
earnestly and affectionately urge upon you 
the importance of a proper attention to this 
subject. The grand end and aim of all your 
labours and cares with reference to your 
children must be their proper preparation for 
the kingdom of heaven. If this end be not 
attained, whatever else you may accomplish, 
you will have failed in the first and grand 
object of all your care and solicitude. You 
will therefore do well to settle this as the 
glorious consummation to which all your 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 113 


teaching and praying and managing is to have 
reference. If this be kept steadily in view, 
it will exert a restraining, quickening, and 
hallowing influence upon temper and tongue 
and action. With this end kept constantly 
in view, your plans and purposes will not 
fluctuate ; there will be a directness of aim, 
a singleness of purpose, which will impart 
wisdom and strength to those counsels which 
you will find so necessary for the accom- 
plishment of your holy, responsible, and 
glorious mission as parents. Many parents 
succeed badly because there is no unity of 
purpose in their management; they train 
their children partly for this world and partly 
for heaven, this world being first, and heaven 
second in importance, a thing to be looked 
after when the body is sick or decrepit, or 
wrinkled with age, and when the heart is 
surfeited with pleasure or mad with disap- 
pointment; when the lights of this world are 
extinguished, or a dark thick cloud veils the 
brightness of their glory, then may the smit- 
ten spirit turn, if it can, to the flickering light 
from the lamp of heaven! Who does not 
see that such a system of training will most 
10* 


114 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


likely issue in driving them from the altar of 
God to the shrine of folly, fashion, the god 
of this world? 

Pursuing the unity of object just named, 
you will constantly feel the importance of 
help from God enabling you for the proper 
discharge of your own duties towards your 
children, and will be prompted to throw 
yourselves constantly and unreservedly upon 
the strength and power of the divine arm, as 
pledged to prayerful, earnest faith, in the pre- 
cious promises of the « glorious gospel of the 
blessed God.”? You will pray much and 
earnestly and perseveringly for the salvation 
of your children; and you will do this in se- 
cret, at the family altar, in the house of God, 
and as you walk by the way; nor will you 
cease these wrestlings though discouraged by 
a thousand difficulties, and your hope be de- 
ferred by a thousand disappointments. You 
will endeavour to persuade them to the feet 
of the Redeemer; but this will require pru- 
dence as to time, place, and manner. You 
must bear in mind that your children are 
fallen creatures, with hearts proud and selfish 
and unbelieving, in love with the world, cap- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 115 


tivated by its present, tangible, and selfish 
gratifications, ready to believe its lying pro- 
mises, with no eye open upon eternity, and 
anxious to find a plausible pretext for doubt 
and unbelief of a message which so distinctly 
announces and so urgently enforces the doc- 
trine of self-renunciation and cross-bearing. 
You will therefore have occasion to learn the 
doctrine of prudence, as well as patience, in 
your zealous working for God. 

It is of great consequence that you so train 
them, as that they shall love and venerate 
the church of their parents, its institutions, 
and its ministers. I have often observed 
with regret the course pursued by Methodist 
parents, who, while they profess to be great 
sticklers for Methodism themselves, not only 
manifest no very decided anxiety for their 
children to be Methodists, but their children 
must be exceedingly dull if they have not 
perceived that they wish them to associate 
themselves with a class of religionists whose 
teachings, institutions, and habits are more in 
accordance with the genteel and liberal views 
of the-fashionable world. Methodism, with 
its straight-laced notions, may do very well 


‘116 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


for old-fashioned old people; or it may suit 
well for the poor and uneducated; but for 
people of wealth and cultivation and refine- 
ment, and especially for the young of that 
class, it is quite too stern and gloomy and 
forbidding in its aspects. And then here is 
a mother who is herself a pattern of neatness 
and plainness in her own dress, who never- 
theless encourages her daughter in all sorts 
of foolish gayety and extravagance, in the 
adorning of her person. And then camp- 
meetings, class-meetings, love-feasts, itine- 
rancy, and almost every thing which is 
peculiarly Methodistic, are repudiated, in 
conversation at least, and the venerable, 
gray-haired, time-honoured, and war-worn, 
veteran who still lives to preach with primi- 
tive plainness and energy the full, free, 
present, and glorious gospel of God, as our 
fathers, of precious memory, proclaimed it, 
is represented as ignorant and fanatical, and - 
utterly unfit to be a teacher of the wise and 
polished generation now inhabiting this land 
of light and improvement. Now, what can 
such children think, I will not say of Method- 
ism, but of Christianity, and especially the 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 117 


Christianity of their parents? And what shall 
we say when we learn (as is often the case) 
that these very parents, now grown so wise, 
and so critically nice in taste and manners, 
owe all they possess of character, or wealth, 
or influence, (under God,) to these same 
camp-meetings, and the labours of these same 
plain, heart-searching, old-fashioned men who 
are now adjudged too coarse to sound the 
gospel in ears polite? The gospel, as taught 
by these men, found them at ruin’s door; 
the father wallowing in a drunkard’s filth, 
and the mother in squalid poverty ; and these 
same children in rags and wretchedness ; but 
they heard the word of life, and were quick- 
ened at a camp-meeting ; they were awaken- 
ed at camp-meeting; they were converted: 
and there too at God’s altar in the woods 
they pledged themselves to God and Method- 
ism. Religion made the father a sober man; 
it made the whole family industrious and 
economical; it elevated them from associa- 
tion with the vile and the vulgar, and brought 
them into the companionship of those who 
were virtuous and respectable. Industry and 
good management have brought prosperity, 


118 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


and they are rich, and in less than twenty 
years have forgotten the hole of the pit 
whence they were digged, and the men who 
were the instruments of digging them up. 
We pray you, parents, if you are honest in 
your Methodism, encourage your children to . 
follow in your footsteps. I would not have 
my children bigots; I would have them hon- 
our and love the image of God wherever they 
see it, without reference to names or sects; 
but still, with my honest and conscientious 
convictions of truth, I would have them un- 
derstand Methodism, and love it and embrace 
it, not as the exclusive, but as the most pure 
and efficient form of modern Christianity. 

You should not speak slightingly of the 
ministers of Christ before your children, nor 
indulge yourselves in such animadversions 
upon their characters or their sermons as 
may lead your children to undervalue their 
ministry, or cherish prejudices against them 
personally. Bear in mind that prejudice in 
the heart against the preacher is often a most 
fatal and effectual barrier against the success 
of his word; and ask yourself, will it not be 
an awful matter if any random or thoughtless 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 119 


or foolish word from your lips should close 
your child’s heart against the very message 
which would otherwise have been the instru- 
ment of saving him? ‘Take your children 
often with you to class-meetings and love- 
feasts; interest them in the Sunday-school 
work, and in the glorious missionary enter- 
prise, which looks to the entire globe as its 
field of operations. Endeavour by all possi- 
ble means to interest them from childhood in 
every thing which concerns the purity and 
triumphs of the church; and while they are 
yet small, let their little hands be familiar 
with the work of charity: so shall you train 
up a generation to bless the church and the 
world when you shall have followed your 
fathers to the tomb. 

In this great work to which you are ex- 
horted, as well as in every other part of your 
duty toward your children, you will find it 
important to act in unison. Let there be 
union of purpose, union of counsel, and 
united prayers for their salvation. Yet we 
confess that we look (especially in the earlier 
days of youth) mainly to the influence of the 
mother. To her God has specially committed 


120 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


the moulding the infant heart, and to her it is 
particularly assigned to lay the foundations 
of future goodness and greatness: and this is 
remarkably the case with respect to sons. I 
shall not enter into the philosophy of this 
matter now, but simply refer to it as a fact 
well ascertained by experience and observa- 
tion, that the influence of a pious mother 
upon the character and destiny of her sons is 
more deep and undying than any other. 
Permit me here to avail myself of the follow- 
ing quotation from one of the most eloquent 
of modern divines, the Rev. Dr. McAll. 
Speaking of this power of maternal influence, 
he says, « To so large an extent is this power 
realized, that when we witness the admission 
of fresh members into the church, or listen to 
the narratives of personal experience present- 
ed by candidates for ordination, at least if 
any favourable impression is made upon their 
minds in early life, we almost instinctively 
expect to hear them acknowledging their un- 
speakable obligations to the care and watch- 
fulness of the maternal character. Whether 
it be that infinite benevolence would requite 
in this form the humiliation and sorrow 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 121 


arising from the priority of woman in the 
first transgression, even as, in unutterable con- 
descension, it assigned to her the exclusive 
parentage of our great Deliverer ; or whether 
it be only the result of that peculiar combi- 
nation of assiduity and mild forbearance by 
which the piety of a Christian mother is wont 
to be distinguished, or whether the heart 
yields itself with a less reluctant submission 
to one whose very sex forbids the competition 
of mere force and the exercise of physical 
exertion ; or whether there be in the abso- 
luteness of our dependence on her in the first 
years of life, an efficacy to win and to sub- 
due, when every other influence would be 
tried without effect ; or what other cause may 
be assigned, I know not; but the fact is cer- 
tain, that the instructions of such a mother 
are, in innumerable instances, productive of 
more valuable and permanent results than all 
other forms of instrumentality, and I doubt 
not that at the last day they will be confessed 
to have been rivalled in their effects only by 
the proclamation of the gospel and the dis- 
semination of the Holy Scriptures. What 
encouragement is thus afforded to pious 
: il 


122 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


mothers I need not now stay to point out; 
but what impressive views of their responsi- 
bility are connected with the fact, it is of 
more importance to submit to your conside- 
ration. Allow me, therefore, to attempt its 
corroboration by the citation of a single tes- 
timony. A few years ago some gentlemen in 
America, who were associated in preparing 
for the Christian ministry, felt interested in 
ascertaining what proportion of their number 
had pious mothers. ‘They were greatly sur- 
prised and delighted on finding that out of 
one hundred and twenty students, more than 
a hundred had been blessed by a mother’s” 
prayers, and directed by a mother’s counsels 
to the Saviour. ‘Though some of them had 
broken away from all the restraints of home, 
and, like the prodigal son, had wandered in 
sin and sorrow, yet could they not forget the 
impressions of childhood, and each was 
eventually brought to Jesus, as well as proved 
a mother’s joy and blessing. Is it not a 
natural reflection what might be the probable 
amount of good secured through its whole 
extent, if every mother who had herself expe- 
rienced the blessings of salvation should - 


~~ 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 123 


‘vigorously discharge her obligations but for 
the welfare of society and of the world.”’ 
We have said that you would find yourself 
opposed by all the energies of a fallen and 
corrupt nature in your children; for after all 
your care and pains-taking in teaching and 
managing them, they are still rebels against 
God till they have humbled themselves at the 
cross of the Redeemer, and obtained that 
change of heart which the Saviour teaches is 
essential to an entrance into the kingdom of 
God. However dear to you, and however 
amiable and lovely in their natural tempers, 
they are enemies of God, and unprepared for 
his kingdom. Of this you will find it difficult 
to convince them, and yet it must be done, 
nor will it do to let them drift on as they 
may, waiting for God’s own good time. Now 
is God’s good time, while your children 
are young; and although it is true that 
you cannot give them grace, yet it is equally 
true that you are God’s agent, appointed by 
him to help them, and encourage, and re- 
prove, and persuade, and lead on, step by 
step, till they can, with exulting heart, and 
joyful lips, say Abba, Father; and for this 


124 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


point you must, with untiring patience, and 
unwearied diligence, labour: hope on, labour 
on; though long disappointed, still hope on, 
and work on, and pray on; and pray the 
prayer of faith, confidently expecting an an- 
swer of peace. And oh how much depends 
on this believing, praying! On this point we 
present an appropriate quotation from the 
author already referred to. «« Let it be known 
to our children that we have penetrated the 
secrets of their history, and are acquainted 
better than themselves with the operations 
they inwardly experience ; that our end and 
alm is the detection, first, and the expulsion, 
afterward, of a malignant power, which, while 
they feel in action, they know not how to 
overcome; and that, struggle as they will 
against us, we will never be repelled or van- 
quished, till by the aid of Almighty grace we 
witness their deliverance. But above all, let 
us abound in the exercise of fervent and be- 
heving prayer. Let aspirations mingle with 
our instructions, and acts of secret interces- 
sion with every chastisement and reproof. 
Let us lay fast hold of those securities which 
seal to the children, even through successive 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 125 


generations, the blessing of the God of their 
fathers. Let our urgency of supplication be 
such as to forbid denial, and to make the di- 
vine veracity an inviolable guarantee for our 
success. I have spoken, brethren, of believing 
prayer—it is this we chiefly need. - On this 
we must chiefly rely. The lack of faith it is 
which entails upon us every other deficiency. 
We do not honour the divine fidelity, and 
our punishment is a universal penury of spi- 
ritual good. O that we could overcome that 
almost only obstacle; and that parents who 
may have tried in vain an hundred other ex- _ 
pedients, and are now ready to give up their 
_last hope, retiring this night from the sanc- 

tuary, humbly resolved, and confident, would 
strive and wrestle even with Omnipotence, 
with a father’s earnestness at the feet of the 
Almighty father. Arise, Christian parent, let 
tears run down like a river, give thyself no 
rest. Let not the apple of thine eye cease. 
Arise, cry out in the night, in the beginning 
of the watches, pour out thine heart like water 
before the face of the Lord. Lift up thine 
hands towards him for the life of thy young 
children. Emboldened, not by despair, but 

ELS 


126 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


by an affection stronger than death, resolve I 
will not let thee go unless thou bless me. 
And remember it is the last triumph of mercy 
yielding to the force it has itself administered 
to utter the animating declaration, « Thy name 
no more shall be called Jacob, but Israel, for 
as a prince hast thou power with God and 
with man, and hast prevailed.’ ” | 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 127 


CHAPTER XI. 
FILIAL DUTIES. 


Our previous chapters have been addressed 
principally to parents. We design now to 
give to our young friends a little advice in re- 
ference to their duties as children—a matter 
just as important as any thing about which 
we have been writing. ‘The apostle says, 
«¢Children obey your parents in the Lord, for 
this is right ;” and he quotes from God’s an- ' 
cient law, <¢ Honour thy father and thy mother 
that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest 
hive long on the earth.” We present you, 
therefore, with your duty, first, as obedience 
is required of you in earlier years; and, se- 
condly, as that duty extends itself to the cir- 
cumstances and demands of a more advanced 
period, when the obedience required in child- 
hood is not expected, and yet the obligations 
of filial love remain in undiminished strength. 

First, then, let us address ourselves to our 


128 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


little friends, and to all children who are yet 
under the immediate control of their parents. 
Your duty, my young friends, is obedience. 
This is God’s own command, and it cannot, 
therefore, be wrong. God has not specially 
commanded parents to love their children, 
but this is secured in the very laws of our 
being. It is the general law of our nature 
that we love our children, and the parent who 
fails to do so, is regarded as a monster who 
sins against his own nature, and against his 
species. One would think, too, that it was 
natural for children to love their parents; yet 
Deity himself seems to have regarded it as 
more likely that children would fail of their 
duty, and hence he has taken special pains to 
secure it by positive enactment, and has 
thrown around it the most impressive sanc- 
tions. He has been pleased to put peculiar 
honour upon the relation of parent. The fa- 
ther is God’s representative, God’s deputy, 
so far as his own household is concerned. He 
has peculiarly honoured it by appropriating 
the title to himself; he is our Father, and de- 
lights to call himself by that endearing appel- 
lation. Obedience to parents is therefore en- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 129 


joined with special emphasis upon their chil- 
dren, and it is certainly a wise provision of a 
gracious providence, which secures to our 
earlier years the affectionate guardianship of 
beings who will be likely to feel so deep an 
interest in us. God has wisely ordered the 
existence of a system of mutual dependence, 
which connects the cries and helplessness of 
feeblest infancy, with the vigour, and strength, 
and wisdom, of mature age. We are none 
of us independent, whatever may be our 
strength, mentally or physically. The de- 
pendence of the helpless infant is at once 
felt, and yet is not the look, and the smile, 
and the prattle of childhood, just as necessary 
to the peace and joy of the parents? Let 
the answer come forth from those childless 
parents, whose quiet habitations are not dis- 
turbed by the crying or the laughter of infancy. 
During the earlier years of childhood, our 
dependence on our parents was entire; and 
God designs that during this period, and in 
fact, till the period of our majority, they shall 
generally choose for us, and have the right 
of controlling our movements. On the part 
of ihe child, obedience is required as essen- 


130 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


tial to the unity, peace, and good ordering, 
of that most interesting community, the 
family, which must be regarded as the foun- 
tain whence flow the streams of good order, 
as it sends forth into society, men and women 
_ who are to build up the glorious fabric of a pure 
church, and an enlightened, free, and glorious 
republic. The character and prospects of 
both the church and the state may be pretty 
certainly conjectured from the character of 
the home-training and conduct of its people. 
If the children of the country grow up under 
the influence of proper training, and the 
principles of filial affection and obedience, 
we shall have, in this fact, the pledge of a 
loyal, intelligent, and virtuous, and noble- 
hearted yeomanry, in whose keeping the ark 
of our political and religious liberty will be 
inviolably secure ; for he who from childhood 
_ has properly respected authority, and rendered 
the obedience of principle to law in the com- 
munity of home, will rarely become a reck- 
less disturber of the peace, or rebel against 
the laws of either church or state. 

But the question recurs, what is meant by 
obeying our parents? If this question were 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 131 


asked of any little boy or girl of ten years 
old, the answer would be promptly, it means 
that I must do whatever my parents bid me 
do, and I must avoid doing whatever they 
forbid. me doing. Very well, but is that 
all? Is the duty of obedience fully performed 
when I have performed the action com- 
manded, and avoided that which they have 
forbidden? Is there nothing, think you, as 
to the manner of performance? See that little 
boy when his father tells him to throw down 
his top or his marbles, and go on some errand, 
or perform some service for him; I see the 
little fellow as he hears the command,—he 
looks at his marbles, then at his playmates,— 
thinks it will-be a long while before he can 
return to his sports, and a sigh of regret 
almost involuntarily heaves his bosom, but 
nothing of it is permitted to appear; he loves 
his father, and with a cheerful countenance 
and buoyant step, he bounds away to do his 
father’s bidding, and returns in proper time 
to receive his father’s blessing, and again to 
mingle with his fellows in the sports of child- 
hood. Did you mark the look of that father 
as he gazed upon his dutiful and happy child, . 


132 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


and pressed him to his bosom with all the 
yearnings of a father’s full heart? Go, ask 
him what it is which so delights him. Is it 
simply that the service commanded was per- 
formed ?. Not so: that was a comparatively 
small affair, but it was the manner, the tem- 
per, and spirit, in which the thing was per- 
formed ; this is the cause of his delight, for 
this is a speech directly from the principle, 
the heart of his child. Or take another ex- 
ample for illustration. See, yonder is a pretty 
little girl, with graceful ringlets and spark- 
ling eyes. See how busily she is engaged 
with her dolls and baby-house. In the very 
midst of her most delightful play, her mother 
calls. her—« Julia, my daughter, leave your 
play and your companions for an hour, and 
go and do thus and so for me.” Patience 
me! what-a cloud is on that brow! what a 
scowl on that countenance! Do you hear 
what she says? «There now, that’s just the 
way I am always served; whenever I get to 
any pretty play, they are sure to call me off; 
I cannot play and enjoy myself like other lit- 
tle girls ; wonder what’s the reason mother 
didn’t send a servant, or, as she saw I was 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 133 


busy at play, she might have sent sister 
Mary; but no, I must quit all and go; I wish 
I was gone—I wonder who they’d call on 
then.”? And with such mutterings as these 
she goes to the performance of her, mother’s 
command. ‘The work is done, and she re- 
turns with a sullen countenance: but not to 
her mother’s bosom, or her mother’s blessing. 
Did you see the countenance of that mother, 
the sigh, and the look of anguish with which 
she contemplated her unhappy child?) Think 
you she was obeyed? The work commanded 
was accomplished, and yet there was no obe- 
dience because of the manner. So, you see, 
my dear children, God requires you to love 
your parents, and to yield them a prompt 
and cheerful obedience. How blessed, how 
lovely, how happy is that family in which the 
parents govern wisely and piously, and the 
children yield a cheerful and happy obedi- 
ence: the house will be the abode of peace 
and good order. 

But when we shall have passed the boun- 
daries of childhood, and shall have approxi- 
mated to the age of manhood, still the obliga- 
tions of filial affection and respect remain in 

12 


134 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


all their force. We are not called now to 
obedience after the same fashion, as in the 
days of childhood; but still the word of the 
Lord to us is, «¢ Honour thy father and thy 
mother.”? Do you ask how is this to be done? 
IT answer. You are to pay due regard to their 
opinions and feelings, holding them in reve- 
rence ; consulting their wishes, as far as prac- 
ticable, and treating with marked deference 
and respect their opinions and counsels, even 
where you may feel called on, sometimes, to 
act contrary to those views. You will be 
uniformly kind and affectionate in your inter- 
course with them. Let them constantly feel 
‘that your reverence and affection for them 
‘has not grown weaker as their hairs have 
grown gray and their countenances become 
wrinkled ; but that in proportion as their 
limbs grow feeble, and their eyes are dim, in 
‘that same measure do their children cluster 
‘about them, and cleave the closer to them 
with an affection which only the grave can 
extinguish. Acting under the influence of 
the feelings just noticed, you will avoid many 
things about the propriety of which you might 
yourselves have no doubt, but you know 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 135 


it would send a pang to the heart of that 
venerated father or mother, to whom you will 
feel that you owe a debt too mighty for your 
whole lifetime to pay. To this obedience 
there is one limitation, and it may cover a 
very broad ground; when obedience to your 
parents becomes disobedience to God, then 
your course is plain. God’s law is of para- 
mount importance, and must be first regarded. 
Should your parents unhappily be irreligious, 
and require you to do what God has forbid- 
den, or forbid_you to do what he has com- 
manded, in such case their commands are of 
no authority; nor may we hope to excuse 
ourselves from obedience to God by pleading 
. the contrary authority of our sinning parents. 
Such plea will not be admitted in bar of 
judgment against us at the last great day of 
decision. Yet even in such a case as the 
foregoing, you are still to treat them with 
affectionate veneration. But your duty to 
them extends still further ; it becomes you to 
see that their evening of life is rendered as 
pleasant and cheerful and comfortable as you 
can render it. It may happen that the parents, 
now old, and stricken heavily by the hand of 


136 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


time, are no longer able to manage their own 
affairs ; and the aged man hath said, «« I am 
uo fonger able to sustain the burden of these 
cares ; I will lay them all down ; I will divide 
my property among my children, and will 
spend the little balance of life among them ; 
I have laboured and cared for them all these 
many years, and now ’tis but a little while I 
shall be among them; surely for that little 
span they can afford to take care of me.”’ 
Now let us mark how these children receive 
and treat him. Is there no murmuring that 
one has received more than another in the 
division of the goods? Do you hear no hint 
that such an one is the favourite, and having 
received the largest portion may very well 
afford to take care of the old man? Just as 
if these children regard this nourishing and 
taking care of their parent a matter of tax— 
a poor vile affair of dollars and cents—like 
the hire of a servant! 

But let ws suppose a case still stronger. 
Perhaps the old people near life’s close are 
reduced to poverty, and when no longer 
able to labour, are thrown out upon the world, 
-ymeless and penryless. Do you ask what 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 137 


they can do under circumstances so distress- 
ing? We ask in turn, have they no children? 
Oh yes; but God help the old people if they 
have to look to them for support. One of the 
sons loves money too well to love any thing 
else ; another has the will, but not the ability ; 
a third has both the will and ability, but his © 
wife is a tartar; his daughters might do it, 
but their husbands might regard it a burden. 
To be sure, the old people were once better 
off, and brought up these sons and daughters, 
and set them up in business, and gave them 
decent marriage portions ; but then, that was 
a long time ago; and besides, the old peo- 
ple had plenty left after all this was done, if 
they had only managed right, and if they had 
not ruined themselves by helping that prodi- 
gal son of theirs, that spendthrift, their young- 
est one, their pet. Alas! poor old people! 
what shall be done with you or for you? 
May God take you to heaven at once, for 
earth offers you sad cheer! Oh, Ihave some- 
times seen in my travels in some of the fami- 
lies which I have visited, things which have 
grieved me to my heart’s core. I have seen 
the aged sire, or the venerable mother, who 
12* 


138 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


had sought shelter for life’s closing hours in 
the habitation of a son or daughter, but lo! 
there was discontent. To be sure, their 
actual wants were supplied, and they were 
generally treated with the externals of respect ; 
but then there was a something in look, and 
tone, and manner, which seemed to say, oh, 
that you were safe in heaven : and the stranger 
can perceive it: and that aged one, too, hath 
noted it; and peace hath fled from his heart, 
and joy is not there, nor hope only, as it 
looks toheaven. And I have looked on such 
scenes not a few, and my very soul hath 
groaned within me; and I have gone forth 
with a sad heart, and have prayed that God 
would take those aged ones to a better place 
and better company. Yet all do not thus. 
We have often met with instances of a very 
different character—families in which the 
aged parents were treated with a becoming 
and affectionate respect; where they were 
cordially welcome, and they saw it, and felt 
it to be so. ‘Their children seemed rather to 
regard them as angels or messengers of good 
whom God permitted to remain in their 
houses, to bless their children and their grand- 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 139 


children. You could see in the looks, you 
could hear in the words, and in the tones of 
the son and his wife, that they mutually felt 
themselves honoured and happy that they 
were able thus to acknowledge, even imper- 
fectly, the force of the obligations of filial 
affection; and there was joy in the old man’s 
heart, and there was love and blessing in his 
eye and upon his tongue, as he looked upon 
his dutiful children; and as his aged ears 
drank in the sounds of the happy voices of 
his prattling grand-children, (sweet music 
which God seems to have graciously adapted 
and designed for the comfort of the aged,) as 
they sport around him apparently anxious to 
anticipate his wants, and to render life’s 
evening twilight as calm,and peaceful as pos- 
sible. A happy house is that, for God’s 
blessing, rich, and full, and comforting, is 
there. 


140 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


CHAPTER XII. 


FILIAL DUTIES.—CONCLUSION. 


WE have said that children should ask 
counsel from their parents, and should re- 
spect those counsels ; yet this is precisely the 
thing which our young friends, in a thousand 
instances, are prone to neglect. The young, 
in the ardour of their feelings, are very apt 
to regard the counsels of gray hairs as too 
slow paced, and as indicating a course of 
action but illy suited to the character of 
youth or early manhood. Is any thing to be 
enterprised ? the lips of the aged talk of too 
many difficulties and hazards'to be overcome 
and provided against. There are about their 
plans too much of preparation and caution, 
and too many whispers about the possibility 
of failure ; and then, worse than all, there is 
too close a scrutiny as to motives and princi- 
ples and associations and tendencies; and 
then, too, there is a strong spice of what is 
antique about all these opinions of old people, 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 141 


suitable enough for former times, but the 
world has grown a great deal wiser since our 
fathers and mothers were young; and the 
charitable conclusion is reached, that the old 
folks are good, and mean well, but their 
opinions are scarcely appropriate for youth, 
in the present age of enlightenment. Now, 
if we are not greatly mistaken in our estimate 
of the signs of the times, there is among the 
young people of this republican country a 
sad want of respect for gray hairs. 'Thou- 
sands of our youth seem never to have 
dreamed that the presence of age should 
impose some modest restraint upon them, 
but, on the contrary, such occasions are dili- 
gently and vociferously improved, as proper 
occasions for the display of their juvenile 
superiority and contempt for all that is vene- 
rable and good in human character, and in 
the proprieties of good-breeding. Hence, in 
public conveyances, you are frequently an- 
noyed by the profane or lewd conversation 
and songs of these youngsters; and in the 
social circle you are pestered with their 
obtrusive behaviour. They are making per- 
petual efforts to shine; their unsought opi- 


142 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


nions and advice are freely and unhesitatingly 
given on all the great topics of conversation, 
and given too with a tone and look and 
manner which seem to say, this is the age of 
the world’s glorious maturity, and Solomon, 
in all his glory and wisdom, was but a dim 
type of the young men of this age. Now this 
is all disgisting enough; but when we trace 
the history of these promising scions back to 
their parent stocks, the reason of the whole 
matter is fully explained. 

We confess we have always cherished a 
veneration for old people, which makes us 
intolerant of the conduct of those young peo- 
ple who treat even an aged negro with 
neglect or insult. God’s blessing is promised 
to those children who honour father and 
mother. He says, that it shall be well with 
them; and how easily can Jehovah make 
good this promise; through a thousand 
channels, unseen by us, can he make his 
blessings to flow in upon the soul and body 
and fortunes of the obedient child; and may 
not a large share of the happiness and tem- 
poral prosperity which has marked the history 
of some men be, to a great extent, the result 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 143 


of God’s blessing upon them, in accordance 
with this promise; and, on the contrary, may 
not the unhappiness, the trouble, and misfor- 
tune to which some families seem to have 
been doomed for a long series of years, be 
strangely and mysteriously enough, yet not 
the less certainly, the legitimate result of de- 
spising this sacred appointment of God? But 
the promise of God on this subject is extend- 
ed-to along life. An old friend and associate 
of Bishop Asbury gave me the following 
anecdote of that venerable and apostolic 
man. He said, he remembered that on one 
occasion, long before the bishop became an 
old man, he heard him say, «‘I have no doubt 
I shall live to be an old man; God has pro- 
mised me that I shall ;’’? and then quoted the 
commandment with promise: «‘ Now,” said 
he, “I know that I have endeavoured to 
honour my parents; and I believe that I shall 
realize the accomplishment of the promise.” 
And was it not so? Who of us that had the 
honour of seeing him can ever forget the 
looks of that venerable white-haired prophet 
of God, as he travelled up and down through 
these broad lands, preaching the unsearchable 


144 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. ae 


riches of Christ, till he had numbered more 
than threescore years and ten: in pain and 
weakness oft and long, yet still pursuing the 
ends of his glorious mission, God sustaining 
him through all, and giving him to see the 
full'accomplishment of that promise to which 
he had looked with so much confidence. 
And another valued friend told me that the 
- bishop used, as long as his mother lived, to 
send her annually twenty-five dollars out of 
the little pittance which he received as a 
Methodist bishop; ««My mother,” said he, 
‘is not needy; she can live very well with- 
out it, but I wish her to know and to feel that 
Francis loves his mother.”” ‘This was entirely 
worthy of the great and good man who 
uttered it. | . 
I have known some men, and I blush to 
say some of them were ministers of the gos- 
pel, who, I am afraid, were sadly at fault 
here. Their parents were poor, and they 
were brought up in the depths of obscurity, 
but God converted them and called them to 
the ministry, and as. they were not deficient 
in talent, and our glorious itinerant plan 
afforded them both the opportunities for study 


* 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 145 


and the excitements necessary to call those 
powers into action, they have risen to popu- 
lar distinction, and have perhaps become 
connected by marriage with families of the 
first respectability; and the devil has taken 
the advantage of them, and they have neglect- 
ed those poor, old, illiterate, and rustic 
parents, who lived in that cabin in the 
mountains or the swamp. They scarcely talk 
of them to their new kindred, and their visits - 
to their old home have been few and short, 
and far, very far, between; and I have noted 
these things on memory’s page, and have 
looked on for a few years, and God’s curse 
has withered the tree of their prosperity ; its 


_ leaves are fallen, and its branches dead, and 


the winding up of their history has been one 
of ruin and poverty, if not of perdition. I 
say again, God has put peculiar honour on 
this relation, and guards it with a rigid jea- 
lousy. I beseech you then, my young friends, 
take care how you pee gg or trifle with its 
obligations. 

There is one point of some delicacy, on 
which we may be expected to bestow a few 
remarks. Should children marry contrary to 

13 


146 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


the advice of their parents? We may only 
say that our discipline makes some allowance 
on this point, and common sense will no 
doubt approve the decision; but permit us 
to say, while some such cases may be al- 
lowed, yet, after a long course of observation, 
we have known but a few instances compara- 
tively of happy matches when the union was 
formed against the advice of a wise and pru- 
dent parent; and if my young friends will 
hear the suggestion, I will say, there is no 
interest or business of your life in which you 
will so greatly need the aid of wise and affec- * 
tionate and discreet friendship, as in this 
same thing of getting married. It is some- 
times pleaded on the part of children who 
seem to be deficient in this matter, that their 
' parents are capricious and very difficult to 
“please. This may be true in many instances, 
and yet it affords no justification for your 
unkindness. Could you look back and read 
the pages of your early history, and see how 
much of infantile fretfulness and childish 
petulance and boyish caprice is found charged 
to the account of your first twelve years, and 
remember that these aged ones have been 


s 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. t47F 


obliged to bear all this, and have nursed and 
cherished you, and loved you, notwithstand- 
ing all, think you it is kind for you, now that 
age and disease and labour and care (most 
of it endured for you) have bowed them down 
and brought them back to the imbecility of 
childhood, to refuse to bear for a little while 
with their weaknesses? Oh, for shame! 
humble thyself at the feet of God and thy 
parents, and obtain forgiveness before God’s 
anger against thee grow hot. What must be 
_ the feelings of parents who find in old age 
no sympathy or comfort from their children ! 
For them they have lived, for them they have 
cared, for them they have toiled, and to their 
affection and kindness they have looked for- 
ward as the sunlight which was to gild life’s 
closing scene; but, alas! these children have 
forgotten them ; ingratitude, deep and dark 
as hell, nestles in their hearts; and now, 
whither shall the parents look? All on earth 
is disappointment, agony, and wretchedness. 

And now, my young friends, permit me to 
sum up all I have to say to you as concisely 
as possible. 1st, When you are young, little 
boys and girls, love your parents as your 


148 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


best friends; obey their commands and re- 
spect their advice; and if at some times they 
interfere with your pleasures and enjoyments 
in a manner which seems to you hard, re- 
member your parents were once exactly as 
old as you are; wait till your knowledge and 
experience of the world and its ways shall 
bring you to the point where they now stand, 
and you will probably see as they see, and 
long before that time you will acknowledge 
the wisdom of their course. And remember 
that he who in boyhood submits well to law, 
and cheerfully bears the yoke, is better pre- 
pared at manhood either to submit to govern- 
ment or to wield its sceptre. As to all this 
thing about being independent, and doing as 
I please, about which some lads talk so flip- 
pantly, it is all worse than nonsense; and 
those who begin thus are apt to end worse. 
Obey your parents, do it cheerfully, and let 
them see that you love to do it: so shall you 
make them joyful, and have in your own 
breast a happy, cheerful conscience, and 
when you are grown older and have to be 
sent away to school or college, then comes 
the time to show your filial affection and 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 149 


gratitude. You are among strangers: new 
associations and new employments and cir- 
cumstances now surround you; the eye of 
that father, the voice of that mother, no longer 
reach you. The teachers, it may be, are 
prudent and pious, and they undertake to 
perform toward you, as far as they can, the 
part of parents; but, alas! their task 1s very 
imperfectly accomplished; the gay, the 
thoughtless, and the wicked, seek your 
acquaintance and your friendship; tempta- 
tion, in Protean shape and form, seeks to win 
you from your home-convictions and princi- 
ples ; these will be reprobated and denounced 
as afitiquated and gloomy; the cup of temp- 
tation will be proffered to your lips by the 
hand of genius, and the word of persuasive 
eloquence by which the faith of your early 
home-fireside is attempted to be uprooted 
may fall from the lips of wit and beauty ; you 
feel the force of the assault, and you are on 
the very verge of an abyss deep and dark and 
horrible. Tell me, my young friend, will 
you yield? Think of your childhood’s happy 
home ; think of the quiet, the peace, the love, 
and the happiness which have always dwelt 
13* 


150 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 


within its hallowed enclosure; think of that 
father who has toiled, from poverty and diffi- 
culty, to acquire the means necessary to sus- 
tain and educate you, and now you are 
placed in the midst of advantages rich and 
abundant, at a cost of means which, with 
even the most rigid economy, will bear hea- 
vily on the pocket of a father whose resources 
are limited ; think too of that mother whose 
image is associated with all your earliest 
childish reminiscences, that mother who 
hovered about your pathway and your sleep- 
ing hours as an angel of God, whose lips 
taught you to say, «*Our Father which art in 
heaven,” who sent thee forth from the pater- 
nal mansion with a mother’s kiss and a mo- 
ther’s heart-warm blessing, who hath never 
ceased to think of, and pray for thee, and 
who, at the very hour when the serpent is 
attempting to coil himself around thy young 
heart, is bowed before the mercy-seat of the 
Eternal, and thy image is upon her heart, and 
thy name on her lips as she wrestles in ago- 
nizing earnestness with God in behalf of her 
child ;—wouldst thou have that father and 
mother witness the deed which thou art 


FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 151 


tempted to commit? Would they approve 
the course thou art about to take? Would 
the tidings of thy change carry peace and joy 
to those loved ones? Or would it plant there 
the agony of disappointed hope and unre- 
quited love? Oh, think of this, young man, 
and when thou art tempted, say sternly to the 
tempter, Get thee behind me, Satan, for let 
others do as they may, as for me, I will fear 
God, and honour my father and mother. God 
and angels shall love thee for the decision, 
and a life of usefulness, peace, and prosperity 
shall attest the’ wisdom of thy course. But 
alas! how many of our sons fail here: they 
yield to temptation, give up their early prin- 
ciples of virtue, trifle away at least half their 
college terms, and spend money with a 
thoughtless and reckless profusion,—thus , 
cheating their confiding parents of time and, 
money,—leave the institution in disgrace, and 
return to their former happy parents but to 
grieve them, and send their gray hairs with 
sorrow to the grave. 


THE END. 


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RECOMMENDATIONS 


OF THE 


MINSTREL OF ZION, 


AND 


SELECT MELODIES. 





From Dr. Thompson, late editor of the Ladies? Repository, and 
now President of Ohio Wesleyan University. 


“We know scarcely any thing of the science of music, and 
are, therefore, not capable of sitting in judgment on one depart- 
ment of this work [MinstreL]. Of the other department. we 
feel competent to judge; for we have a heart, and we know the 
poetry of this book moves it. Nearly all the songs are from the 
pen of brother Hunter, and we wonder that one who can write 
so charmingly should accept aid from any source. This book of 
songs, unlike some works of this description, is not merely fitted 
to arouse emotion ;—it is full of sound divinity. The ‘Serecr 
Me topr1es’ is from the hands of one of the authors who have com- 


osed the work before us; and the two works are not only. 


indred in character and parentage, but adapted to each other. 
' This may be regarded as the supplement to that, and whoever 

has the former will probably desire the latter. The unprece- 
dented popularity of the ‘Select Melodies, in the west and 
south, is a sure guarantee for the rapid sale of its more mature 
successor,” ~ 





* * * * * Brother Hunter has conferred a favour upon 
the religious community in this production [Mrnstret]. The 
hymns or songs are mostly original, and his own composition. 
The music, we are told, is also excellent and appropriate.”— 
Phila. Ch. Repository. 





* The above works [Mrxropres and Mrnsrret] have been laid 
on our table by their accomplished author, our esteemed contem- 
porary, the editor of the ‘ Pittsburgh Christian Advocate?’ Him- 


Ss a 


2 RECOMMENDATIONS. 


self a poet, none could be better qualified to furnish a tasteful 
and choice selection of sacred melodies for the social circle, for 
which these books are intended. Not being versed in the myste- 
ries of the gamut, we are unable to speak of the musical merits 
of the Minstrel, but of the poetical merits we may express an 
Opinion. Many of the hymns are beautiful, touching, and in- 
spiring, and some of the pieces of music which we have heard 
are of the same character. Among the pieces are the ‘ Father- 
land’ and the ‘Eden Above,’ which are familiar to some of our 
readers. They are both the composition of Mr. Hunter.”— 
Protestant, Unionist. 


* 





“‘SeLect Metopres.—While some contend earnestly for a re- 
vision of our standard Hymn-Book, and others, with perhaps ~ 
equally weighty reasons, contend as earnestly against it, we are 
glad to see so unexceptionable an edition of popular melodies 
brought forward without contention, in a portable, cheap form, 
Dy one so competent to do the subject justice as our good brother 
Hunter, the editor of the Pittsburgh Christian Advocate. More= 
over, as this edition contains ‘the best of those hymns in com- 
mon use,’ we pronounce it the English Vulgate edition, and all 
others are hereby put on the Index Expurgatorius.”—Christian 
Advocate and Journal. AAS 


_ 





“MINSTREL OF ZIoN.—* * * * *A very neat volume of 
religious poetry set to music. The most of the poetry is from 
the pen of the Rev. W. Hunter, who has established for himself 
a fair reputation as a very respectable poet, particularly in the 
line of religious hymns. Many of his pieces will compare favour 
ably with those of Watts and Wesley and Heber. They are re- 
markable for smoothness of versification and brilliant imagery. 

Mr. WAKEFIELD, who has set this poetry to music, is a well- — 
known, and, we may say, a veteran musician, having published 
a great many works, which have had a large sale. This is the 
most interesting work for singers, in private and religious cir- 
cles, and by the family fireside, we have ever seen, and we pre- 
dict for it an extensive sale.” —Pittsburgh Daily Gazette. 





IncipEnt connected with the close of the Tennessee M. E. Con- 
ference, 1844. 


* * * * * «The closing scene was the most impressive 
and overpowering occasion we ever witnessed. God was in our 
midst, and every soul felt it was good to be there. After a very 
impressive and affectionate address from the Bishop, an address 


RECOMMENDATIONS. 3 


which we trust no minister present will ever forget, and just be- 
fore he proceeded to read the appointments, the brethren sang, in 
most delightful strains, the following beautiful lines composed by 
the Rev. Wm. Hunter, on the dying words of the Rev. Thomas 
Drummond, who ‘ fell covered with glory’ in the city of St. Louis, 
a few years since. Said he, ‘ Tell my brethren of the Pittsburgh 
Conference, that I died at my post.’ 


“ Away from his home and the friends of his youth, 
He hasted, the herald of mercy and truth: 
For the love of his Lord, and to seek for the lost; 
Soon, alas! was his fall,—but he died at his post,* &c. 


* Every heart was melted, and a hundred voices responded, 
We'll die at our post?” The aged brethren seemed.to put on the 
strength and vigour of youth, and the young brethren were in- 
spired with the courage and firmness of the old soldiers of the 
cross. Oh, it was a time of power and great glory! One of the 
most interesting incidents of the occasion transpired just at the 
front of the altar. There sat a beloved young minister, and a 
few seats back sat his widowed mother. He is a sweet singer, 
and as his voice mingled with the song of the multitude, tears of « 
joy ran down his smooth face: his mother, in the fullness of her 
soul, flew to him, and clasping him in the arms of affection, said, 
‘My son, die at \your post!’ His heaving bosom responded in 
emotions almost too big for utterance, ‘My mother, by the grace 
of God I will die at my post! "—South Western Ch. Advocate. 





Rev. W. HuntER:— 


I have carefully examined the “ Minstrel of Zion,” and think 
it entitled to a much higher place in the department of music 
than you have assigned to it. It is well adapted to the social 
circle, and I can cheerfully recommend it to all the lovers of 


sacred music. 
S. McKINLEY, 
Pittsburgh, 1846. Pres. Mus. Academy, Pittsburgh. 





Rev. W. HunTER:— 


The music in the “Minstrel of Zion” is a farther evidence of 
Rev. 8. Wakefield’s skill in the science. This little work cannot 
fail to commend itself to the social meeting and to all the lovers 
of good music. Itis well adapted to the poetry, and as such I 


recommend it. 
L. P. LINCOLN, 
Prof. Music in the Musical Academy, Pittsburgh. 
Pitisburgh, Jan., 1846. 


* See Minstrel, p. 176. Melodies, p. 295. 


& RECOMMENDATIONS. 


“This work [Mrystret or Zton] has been before the pubtic 
some months. The poetical abilities of brother Hunter, and the 
musical abilities of brother Wakefield, are well known in our 
church ; and to say, that the work contains some excellent poetry 
and some fine music, would be only saying what our readers 
would expect us to say. Though most of the pieces are original, 
which reflect great credit on the talents of the authors, there are 
also numbers of admirable selections, both in poetry and music. 
The work is neatly printed. The music is in the patent notes. 

“We cordially recommend the production to the patronage of 
our readers, Hopuies at the same time, if they are not yet in pos- 
session of a Church Hymn-Book, they will procure the latter 
when they buy the former. For sale at the Methodist Book Con- 
cern in this city.”"—West Ch. Advocate. 





Many other notices from newspapers might be added, but these 
are deemed sufficient. é 


The “SrLect MELopIEs” - are | published by Swormstedt, & 
Mitchell, Cincinnati, Ohio, and by Sorin 4 Ball, Philadelphia, Pa. 


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